I remember how much I loved working on my grandparents farm in the summer, my grandmothers cooking, the stories my grandfather would tell when we took a break, the way he would whistle birdsongs in the evening, and the birds singing back. He thought me how to make flutes from fresh branches in the spring, I hope I can teach my grandchildren the same thing one day. Hope they will do the same to their grandchildren.
My grandparents knew what plants are edible, how to hunt, how to set a snare and lots of other things I would love to know, but due to civilization(and relocation), I never learned these thing. Now they are gone, and with them the knowlegde of my anscestors. Even the farm is gone, they could not compete with the new industrial farms, and after ten years of trying they gave up, sold the land and moved to the city to die.
I want a place where I know every stone, where every tree is part of me, where the birds greet me in the morning and whistle with me in the evening.
I PHUCKING HATE CIV! Civ has robbed me of my legacy, it has robbed me of the only land I’v ever felt part of, the only group of people I’v ever truly felt loved and secure in and it has turned me into a helpless child hiding in an adult body! I WANT TO SEE IT END, FRIGGIN NOW ! It has stolen countless hours from my life, it has caged my mind behind bars of domestication, it took my childhood, it took my teens BUT I AM NOT GONNA LET IT TAKE ANY MORE. This is it, I’v been pushed far enough, now I will dig my feet into the ground like the oldest most badass tree you ever saw and I will NOT be moved!
And I want to smell smoke and taste the ashes of burning cities on the tip of my tounge. I’v never felt this strongly about anything ever before, and what I feel is sorrow… and RAGE! Not the kind of rage you feel when your partying and some asshole is hitting on your girl, not the kind of rage you feel when someone screws you over at your job…
No, this is the kind of rage you see in a grizzly protecting it’s cub, the rage that turns a wounded cat into a lion, the kind of rage that comes from LOVE. Love of LIFE.
And I do not know where to channel this rage, cause I swear, this is the kind of rage that needs an outlet, lest it consumes me alive.