E-Prime Phrases of Speech Challenge


#62

So many wonderful challenges, and responses…

Love envelopes me

“Inside that soot and filth, Sunflower, you shone all along, but you forgot and only looked at a locomotive, thinking its similar appearance made you one too. And you, Locomotive, make not that same mistake, remember to stay on track!”


#63

Thank you, Anneke! I love those.

I want to break the rules and answer my own I’m in love challenge with one possibility. In the mood for lots and lots of words:

A great river flows from your eyes to mine, rushing in through my sinuses salmon-filled and cold, falling off the cliff of my throat, then slowing along my spine, traveling one vertebra to another like water down a chain, pooling around my lungs and swirling into the eddy of my heart, which sends the waters surging upward again, trickling now through subterranean channels thick with cottonwood roots, then shooting back through my eyes, across the chasm and into the bright opening light of yours, the river alive now to bursting with salmon finding their way home, searching the cool round stones of your heart for a safe place to leave their eggs.

Haha. I wonder how many spawning salmon love poems have been written.


#64

I was just thinking how much this E-Prime stuff makes me want to translate “to be” not just into more precise wording but into wordless image. Like now I want to draw a picture of a river of salmon cycling between two people. Another thread for another time. :slight_smile:


#65

Haha, yes, just like after your previous post I saw the salmon run now with fishing bears and Carl and love and all swirling in one total animal soup of time…


#66

Not salmon but trout feature in a poem I think of rather a lot; not quite e prime but nicely put.

The Song of Wandering Aengus
BY WILLIAM BUTLER YEATS
I went out to the hazel wood,
Because a fire was in my head,
And cut and peeled a hazel wand,
And hooked a berry to a thread;
And when white moths were on the wing,
And moth-like stars were flickering out,
I dropped the berry in a stream
And caught a little silver trout.

When I had laid it on the floor
I went to blow the fire a-flame,
But something rustled on the floor,
And someone called me by my name:
It had become a glimmering girl
With apple blossom in her hair
Who called me by my name and ran
And faded through the brightening air.

Though I am old with wandering
Through hollow lands and hilly lands,
I will find out where she has gone,
And kiss her lips and take her hands;
And walk among long dappled grass,
And pluck till time and times are done,
The silver apples of the moon,
The golden apples of the sun.

I notice a few poems…certainly this one and Howl- use forms of “to be” sparingly, and to frame conclusions.


#67

Awesome. E-prime gets me in the mood for poems too.

Meanwhile I just stumbled into this drawing made last year by my 5yo daughter. Another good translation for “being in love”!

What about a new challenge, this one from Lummox’s Yeats poem?: I am old

And now I’ll shut up for a while. I’m hogging the air so much I just got a notification telling me so. :slight_smile:


#68

I’m feeling past my sell by date,

I near the end of my natural life span,

The sweet bird of my youth has flown,

I have survived many winters,

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

I have lived to a ripe old age.


#69

“i’m in love” --> long-winded e-prime metaphor --> weird image made with somebody else’s line drawings (thank you, internet) --> what next?


#70

Someone mistook me for my mother’s sister.
I do not have a smartphone.
Someone offered me their seat on the bus.
My hair has turned white.
The years seem to fly by so fast these days.
I remember when you clung to your mother’s apron.
What was that challenge again?


#71

> What was that challenge again?

Remind me of the challenge?
Name the next challenge.
I don’t remember the challenge. Can you say it again?
I need another challenge!
GIVE ME A NEW CHALLENGE!!!

New Challenge:
E-prime is so hot right now.


#72

E-prime rocks right now.
E-prime makes me hot.
Nowadays, E-prime enriches our communication.
Go E-prime!
Talk without the verb to-be creates life!


#73

As much I’ve enjoyed derailing this thread, I suppose next time I ought to move the poems and artwork over to the “sandbox”: E-Primitive Sand Box

Okay, ready to play by the rules now. Jesse, you forgot to add a new challenge. What comes next?


#74

Just felt like adding in a few more…

I fear burning my fingers on E-prime.
All women seem to have cup E-prime.
E-prime makes my ears steam.
Everyone talks about E-prime!
Everyone talks E-prime!

Next challenge: “Honey, I’m home!


#75

Sweet nectar, I have arrived!
My feet have carried me home!
I have entered home!
I abide in my home, and home abides in me!
Make me food!

New challenge: Rules are made to be broken.


#76

“Sweet nectar, I have arrived! My feet have carried me home!” I love this.

Chaos reigns!
Do we really need rules?
I reject your stupid rules.
I don’t believe in following rules.
On the Domesto-meter, rules score high.

Next challenge: I’m ready.


#77

Let’s go!
All set.
Ready.
Locked and loaded.
(Loud energetic shout, possibly involving some in-group vocalization such as “yeehaaa”, or " hoorah".)
Hang on a sec, I just gotta tie my shoes.


#78

Let’s do this.
Can we go now?
I made all the preparations.
I primed myself.
I readied myself, did you?

This one felt difficult!

New Challenge: Peace be with you.


#79

Go in peace.
I wish you peace.
May you find peace.
May your heart know peace.
Peace.

Next challenge: What’s on your mind?


#80

What have the brain gnomes cooked?
What brews?
What has your mind mulled over?
What do you think?
Do you have any thoughts?

New challenge: The leaves are green and the flower petals are orange.


#81

[/quote][quote=“Jesse_Ambrose, post:80, topic:673”]
New challenge: The leaves are green and the flower petals are orange.
[/quote]

It looks a bit like common marigold…
Guess what plant I saw today… it has green leaves and orange petals…
No, not a sunflower!
I just can’t think of its name!