I haven’t officially been diagnosed yet because I’m wary of getting “help” from any regular therapist or doctor but i’d really like to deal with this. does anyone have a similar problem or advice on what to do or where to get help?
I guess to help I’d want to ask exactly what caused troubles for you. What sort of situations cause anxiety? More importantly, why do you think they are troublesome?
i’m no authority and should never be accepted as so, but, you asked, so a small something to put to the test and see if it works for you:
confront your fears, mercilessly, learn to welcome and enjoy the pain that frequently accompanies change.
& don’t get wasted when you’re anxious. ever.
Anytime I’ve felt social anxiety, it seems to stem from feeling that I have to put on a perfect facade or hide some aspect of myself or else other people won’t like me.
i get really extreme reactions. i start sweating, i get dizzy, my hands shake and i stutter. it doesn’t usually get that bad, but it’s pretty random when it does. i usually get a mild form of it when i’m in places with a lot of unfimiliar people and a lot of noise. i don’t have a lot of friends because of this so i mostly spend my time alone, which is actually ok with me for the most part. it’s something i need to overcome though, because it’s starting to be a real hindrance for me and gets in the way of things like finding a job and, more importantly, it gets in the way of rewilding.
thanks for the advice.
Does being around the friends or family that you do trust make a difference in the reaction you get?
when i'm in places with a lot of unfimiliar people and a lot of noise. i don't have a lot of friends because of this so i mostly spend my time alone, which is actually ok with me for the most part
As far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing wrong with being uncomfortable in situations involving large numbers of people. It is UNNATURAL for any animal to live in the population sizes we do. If on a regular basis you walk past someone whom you don’t know (in a city, this is nearly everybody), you live somewhere with too many people. Really, we should all be living in tiny communities where everybody literally knows everybody. Any other living arrangement requires us to “cope” somehow with these unnatural surroundings. Some people just manage to handle the insanity better than others.
From my point of view, there is nothing wrong with being uncomfortable in a situation where there are dozens, hundreds, thousands, or millions of others in our immediate surroundings. It doesn’t mean you’re not normal. It’s the situation that not normal.
any number of family and close friends are totally chill, it’s mostly just being put in situations with a lot of unfamiliar people that gets to me. i can even be totally fine if i’m just with one person i don’t know very well, but larger unfamiliar groups of people like (parties, malls or crowded buses) bug me out. if it’s super loud it’s even worse.
i think i kinda have the same problem (maybe not as bad) i tend to avoid the masses and every so often i procrastinate things like going out jogging or riding a bike because i feel paranoid. i generally can shake it off. i think it developed when i was living in the city because theres alwase gangbangers n junkies looking for trouble. also i feel like people think im a weirdo. oddly enough when i was wearing tight plaid pants and had a big green mohawk that stuff dident seem to bother me id just have the “fuck you” aditude. also i couldent hold a job if i tried the first week alwase seems to go by so fast i dont know what hit me and then i feel like the walls are closing in. then i call in sick a few times and bang no job i like to tell myself its a deep rooted safty mechanism to avoid civ. i dunno if this helps you or not. but yeah when ever im feelin like i cant go out i just think to myself i dont give a shit about the people out there and they probly dont give a shit about me so fuck 'em.
Just to get it straight,
do you get disoriented ?
disjointed thoughts ?
Lagged reaction?
Fear?
Heavy & irrugular breathing ?
disjointed perception of time?
i have sufered from social anxiety disorder for years. i retired from teaching early because of it. strange thing is, i have always been extremely social and outgoing. i throve in social situations. weird that it would happen to me,. but it did.
in my case, the meds did help. i live a pretty quiet life these days. i live in the bush and really hate having to go to town, but it doesn’t hold the same fears that it did.
I think its something you have to force yourself to continually confront in order to overcome it or at least handle it ? I don’t have the disorder and this opinion is based on the idea that everyone has social anxiety to some degree.
Bikerdruid, do you think its possible for someone to take Meds, improve their life then slowly ween themselves off them?
i’ve done some thinking about my “disorder”, and i came to the conclusion that it isn’t anything like a disorder, just an understandable reaction to unnatural relationships that are potentially harmful, as far as my “animal mind” or intuition is concerned.
for the past couple months i’ve been trying to find a job, but i’m discovering more and more how you basically need to put on a mask with an expression to please people, no matter if the expression on the mask actually represents you or not. it seems like the relationships between people have no real foundation, that they’re based on winning people over so you can get something out of them. i’m seeing this more and more in all the other relationship between people in this culture too, even intimate relationships. for example, i know a lot of guys who’ll “research” a girl before they actually approach her, so they can get to know her likes and dislikes. they’ll do things like look at the music they have on their ipods, discretely ask their friends what movies they like, figure out their sense of humor, all so they can pretend to be someone that the girl will find interesting, regardless of whether or not it’s something that they might actually genuinly connect over. all that so they can “get with” someone. what’s the difference between getting together with someone like that or applying for a job. both relationships require doing your research and then pretending to be something your not, to get on someones good side so you can get laid or so you can pay you rent. that kind of manipulative behavior is everywhere. but it’s hard to unlearn it, or deprogram yourself of it if you need it to survive in this culture. i’ve caught myself acting like that with friends and family before and it really disgusts me. i value relationships with people that are genuine and based on real common interests, not on treating people (or animals and plants) as resources to be exploited. to me it seems really disgusting , but it’s something i need to take part in if i want simple things like feed myself and keep a roof over my head. how are we supposed to rewild behaviors like that, if we depend on them to survive? i mean, this way of “dealing” with people is really all across the board.
i mean, the few friendships with people i do have aren’t relationships based on bullshit. i can argue with them and disagree with them but still hang out later. you wouldn’t be able to do that with your boss, or say, a teacher who you want to give you a good grade though you hate their class. >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
“Bikerdruid, do you think its possible for someone to take Meds, improve their life then slowly ween themselves off them?”
yes. i have weaned myself off the meds a few years ago. i relapsed and went back on the meds and have been put on disability. i will again wean myself off them in the next couple of years. hopefully retirement will assure no further relapse.
Wow, don’t know how I missed this. I’ve had “SAD” since puberty which has gotten better but still a factor. I think you have it right, in that it just happens as another reaction to Civilization’s insanity - like if you take a primate designed to live free, egalitarian and in a troupe of 20, then put it in a zoo caged with 500 others and see of it doesn’t develop stress. Every human has different traits I figure so just like how some people that stress affects by developing their aggressive sadistic side, some people that stress develops their shy side.
Recently broke down and tried something, Valerian Root, and it can take the edge off while still living in the zoo.
You can also find a lot of resources online. I started a fledging support group and put some possibly useful stuff on the website:
www.pittsburghsocialanxiety.com/work.html