I am having a bit of confusion regarding the signs I am reviving and the path I am being guided to walk upon. Last September, before I met my girlfriend I began on a journey. One that pointed me directly to her, ans directly towards my new found spirituality. I woke up one day and I followed the voice that told me to become a vegan. I've been vegan since August or September of last year. I've stopped drinking coffee, left behind old friends, and woken to a new level of consciousness. Although, this is just the beginning. I've been through one section of the dark night of the soul. Never before have a felt such disassociatio, depression, vulnerbailtiy. But never before have a felt such love and appreciation for the universe after, a stronger sense of trust.
But, recently, or all along..I have been given these signs and I am just starting to piece them together. Their meaning, my purpose. I have always been a spiritual person, but my spirituality shines a new light on my world.
I feel a pull towards healing a shamanism. But, I can't assume anything, as I know that these things are sacred.
Here's some background:
I was born premature (3 months) early my c-section. I weighed 1 lb 12 oz , I believe I flat lined a time when I was born, and a lot of health issues as a child. Up until I was about 13 or 14, maybe younger I had constant health issues, esp upper resp issues. I was always sick, and I constantly fought a new sickness each month mostly colds, flus, etc. I grew up sort of a troubled child, mixing with the wrong people. Then one day, I stopped becoming sick, actually..now I don't get sick. Ive gone vegan. I don't eat gluten. And I have transitioned to my authentic self by living as male, although I never identified as female. And I'm evolving daily with those I love.
I have has so many "weird" things happen that I cant keep track, so I have kept a dream journal and spritual journal.
Before my girlfriend and I met, I got into a car accident..with this young man named Gabriel. (That is a story within itself). But recently, I have been uncovering the meaning behind crows ans ravens, which I feel have been following me eveywehere I go. They are constantly flying over head, casing at me. At one point, I was in a park that I took my dog to on the whim..and as I was walking by a crow was cawing at me..maybe 4 feet or less away. And spent the remainder of its time flying over head. I later figured out why it was there, but I keep having events like this happen.
I have been interested in different styles of holistic healing and medicine, but none of them felt right until I realized shamanism. Although, I cannot pick this..without being chosen.
I want to ask if anyone can share their experience about spritual guidance towards healing and Shamanism and what that looked like for them. I haven't been able to get it off my mind lately,