So I had a job interview in Pittsburgh for the Western Pennsylvania Conservancy. I’m pretty sure they want to hire me as a botanist. Problem is I don’t want to move to Pittsburgh. Out of all the cities in the world I would like to live there most. My sister lives there, tons of friends, decent working class city, not too trendy and expensive, rolling hills and rivers and wild turkeys, it’s only three hours from home. There are even other rewilders nearby. BUT I hate the city. I’m not a city person. I can’t drive anywhere near a city without nearly killing myself. I would be sucked into city life there. I fear I would spend my money dining out, drinking with those friends I was talking about, going to shows, and paying exorbitant prices for housing. I could live in the park. But could I live in the park? Would my friends and family let me live in the park? What could they do about it? But surely they would try to stop me. I resent the fact that the headquarters for all of these big conservation institutions are located downtown in big cities. Audobon is in New York, Nature Conservancy is in the DC area. Just goes to show you they are really about money more than conservation. It makes no sense really. To get to the areas we need to study we will have to spend all this time stuck in traffic driving away from the city. The people in the office where I had my interview, especially the young people don’t even look like outdoorsmen and women. They look like interns for a newspaper or something, all button down shirts and khakis. I actually had to borrow shoes and clothes to go to this interview. The glue on my own adidas sambas evaporated sometime in December near a fire leaving the toes flapping open. My “good” shoes (those that don’t shovel up snow and rain with each step) are vans slip ons featuring an indian skull wearing a headress. But what if i don’t get any other job? I do like plants and I can’t see myself working here at a gas station or anywhere else I don’t like. I’d quit in a month, or my subconscious would accidentally break my leg or something. Arrg. All I want in life is a little place to call my own. Just a tiny little place.
My other complaint-Ive been eating meat lately which I don’t usually do. Not for moral reasons. I just never really liked it. I stopped eating steak when i was like four, but i figure I better teach myself to like it if i want to rewild. Well I ate steak thursday and venison friday and chicken saturday and i noticed that i just feel really, really stupid eating meat with a knife and a fork. I want to pick it up and bite it. I would be so much easier and more efficient and just plain better. I look around at everyone else eating with their dainty little knives and forks and they strike me as stuffy european royalty, it seems a ridiculous farce. My friend’s mother actually used to say “teeth are not for cutting”. AHHH, that is exactly what teeth are for!
