I have recently started smoking again to releave stress and I’m constantly plagued by insomnia.
I am lonely,angry,bitter,frustrated and always in a state of being pissed off.
I feel all life that surrounds me is a giant charade,cruel joke or a really redundant cartoon with a horrible plot ending coming up.
[b]( Thanks for listening to me.)
( I’ll have more posts later on I think.)[/b]
I had insomnia last week and it made me kinda crazy… it was caused by a lot of different things but I’ve finally settled back down (disappointingly in a way because I’m settled down in civilization…) and have been recuperating. Best advice I can give is just to talk about it, at least that’s what I had to do, I had to let everything out so I could stop thinking and dwelling over it causing me insomnia.
Nothing really works for me…
Even talking about it doesn’t do anything…
I suppose discussing my internal turmoil humors me since the cure for my inflictions seems almost impossible of acquiring.
perhaps plan, set some goals, block out civilization as much as possible. Make big goals, or start making them, who, where, when, how you want (feasibly) to get out, and little goal, the what, skills, etc. and work at those while planning the big one.
I feel a little bit better after I let loose in my thread. ( My rewilding log.)
( Not by much however.)
Griefthread.
The other day I saw a girl and was thunderstruck. The first one to incite that reaction since I was 12. and I said nothing to her. I could barely even look at her and she is gone and I doubt I’ll see her again but the trees are here and they’re more than nice.
And the human race is destroying everything I love, including the human race.
So I’m sort of pissed off and sad too. Which is okay, because it beats numbness and I embrace all these feelings and I’m not afraid to express them. other than those things, I feel good.
So TheJoker, what has you frustrated? You want something and you don’t have it and you’re rejecting what you do have?
Isn’t that always the case? This is the secret to happiness : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fp-oJhBxn6o
[quote=“teek-tok, post:6, topic:332”]Griefthread.
The other day I saw a girl and was thunderstruck. The first one to incite that reaction since I was 12. and I said nothing to her. I could barely even look at her and she is gone and I doubt I’ll see her again but the trees are here and they’re more than nice.
And the human race is destroying everything I love, including the human race.
So I’m sort of pissed off and sad too. Which is okay, because it beats numbness and I embrace all these feelings and I’m not afraid to express them. other than those things, I feel good.
So TheJoker, what has you frustrated? You want something and you don’t have it and you’re rejecting what you do have?
Isn’t that always the case? This is the secret to happiness : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fp-oJhBxn6o[/quote]
Self help guides never work out for me. :-\
So TheJoker, what has you frustrated?
I’m lonely and every girl that I come to like only wants someone of the monetary position.
( I have a low opinion of modern women.)
( I think most modern women are disgusting creatures.)
You want something and you don't have it and you're rejecting what you do have?
If you call being alive with a lack of purpose,fulfillment,happiness and pleasure somthing worth living for I would have to disagree with you.
I have nothing. I live for nothing.
It gets to the point that when I eat I’ll joke to myself asking why I even bother sustaining myself. For what purpose am I keeping myself alive for?
Alot of times I feel like a machine repeating the same pointless trivial cycles everyday.
Everyday I distract myself with brain deteriorating forms of entertainment or by reading so that for awhile I can forget what pathetic position that I’m in even if it’s for an instance.
I have nothing.
You have opportunities.
You have opportunities.
[/quote]
Where?
in a place where your eyes cannot see
I dislike illusions and mind deceptions but instead I long to feel free in a world which I can taste, hold, or touch.
I dislike illusions and mind deceptions but instead I long to feel free in a world which I can taste, hold, or touch.
I believe you missed the point altogether, for I was speaking of something that is not an illusion, nor a mind ‘deception’, nor something you can taste hold or touch
I believe you missed the point altogether, for I was speaking of something that is not an illusion, nor a mind ‘deception’, nor something you can taste hold or touch
[/quote]
What is it then?
Remember the air.
What does it have to do with our current conversation?
Everything, I’d say.
You will have to forgive me when I say that I’m confused and that I don’t quite understand.
Think about it for a bit. If you’re still confused, the last chapter of David Abram’s The Spell of the Sensuous is titled, “Remembering the Air.” If you don’t come upon it on your own, that will surely point you in the right direction.
I’ll look into it.
Well I have finally hit rock bottom in that I have given up writing my book largely because I see current humanity as doomed with its fate being left to that of nature which will most likely end up in a global catastrophe and because of the never ending criticism of my thought by controlled academics.
I am currently largely paying attention to rewilding and in helping to strengthen the position of anarcho primitivism with all the forms of thinking I have accumulated in my humble years of living as that is all I have left to my life with current state of affairs.
Words can’t describe the depravity that I am feeling in my life currently as ultimately I feel empty, hollow, desensitized, alienated and dehumanized in all forms of my very being feeling like my every form of existance is left to inauthenticity.
I have decided that in two or three years time that I’m going to move into the forests and wilderness for the rest of my natural life either with others or by myself solitary forever.
( I will still be a active member in the anarcho-primitivist movement contacting people on the net every six months or so though.)