Mass society and me

The civ’s problems are manifold. Its effects differ depending on who you are, where you live, etc., but chances are, it’ll get you somehow. I finally diagnosed how civ keeps fucking me over.

My would-be roommate for next year decided that I was expendable and decided to sign the lease with another person. Not one, but BOTH of these people are whom I would consider friends, yet how does it come to be that their partnership brings fruition and I’m left in the dust without a place to stay? Why is it that, now come crunch time to sign the lease for an apartment, all my other friends and acquaintances have already paired up?

Think about a tribe, or even a nation of tribes. It’s a set family, a community, an almost completely closed system. The partnerships you make with these people are so tightly bonded and so strong that, even given the oppurtunity to leave you out, they would not do so. You have a lifelong history with these people.

The problem is in mass society, you have your family at it’s core, but friends are part of other networks. Tightly closed circle of friends occur, but it’s rare. One friend of mine will have 10 other friends, and the non-mutual ones will have 10 others, branching out until you’ve covered about 3 states on average. Because the society of the mass brings a large group of people together and makes them form their own bonds, some percentage of the group is going to be left out.

That’s me at the moment. In a numbers game, literally the odd man out. Dunbar’s number has naturally made people select a core number of close friends and a number of expendable acquaintances. If I only link as acquaintances or even worse, an acquaintance I assumed was a friend, I’m expendable.

I don’t know, shit’s fucked up at the moment. I just thought I’d put my two cents out on it.

that SUCKS! >:(

How awful for you! :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[

I hope your situation improves. You never know, it might turn out that you wouldn’t have wanted to live with that person anyway. I lived with one girl who seemed like a very sober and responsible person while we were friends. Then we moved in together, and every check she wrote bounced. She moved out and the next guy was even worse. I was desperately looking for a new roommate, then just in time, my friend’s brother-in-law needed a place to stay. He seemed okay, but he kept to himself a lot. A few months later, he got arrested because he’d been driving the getaway car in a robbery.

I hope that makes you feel a little better and I hope you don’t get booted out into the street.

Thanks for the support.

The situation isn’t dire; I’ll find something, even if it’s just a 1br in the city. The topic is less about the living situation as it is the fucked up nature of social networks in civilization. It’s difficult to keep others a part of your circle when they will naturally belong to others. The person who kicked me out (Jay) favored a very good friend of mine (Mike). Mike and I talked and he feels ultra-guilty for having taken my spot, but he has no choice at this point; he has to live somewhere. Because I’m working in a mass system (specifically the class of '11 in the university), Jay had the capability of simultaneously removing me from his circle and harboring one of my friends into his. It’s the most manipulative method of social networking and it draws parallels to the situation of the entire culture.

Django, I totally know what you’'re talking about, some people always get excluded, and it is so easy to move on, to leave one group of friends and find another, or at least its supposed to be. The relationships are never that deep, what with moving from school to school to work, possibly all in three different cities or even countries. At least that’s how I feel sometimes.

However, the same time of criss-crossing interlinked far ranging social network is a vitally imporatant thing i think for society to function well, even a primitive society. The trick is keeping strong relationships in the midst of it all.