so its been a bit since i’ve been over. i’ve been climbing and “rewilding” i guess. and i just feel plain good. not always happy, rarley bored and hardly ever tired. not sure what it is.
i finished my first bow and made some pine pitch. but heres where things get great…
i’ve been talking to my brother a lot. he was an addict and died 2 1/2 years ago. whenever i’ve thought about him i’d be pummelled with a volatile mix of sadness, anger and guilt. resentment to my family members would also kick in. for awhile i wouldn’t speak to my mother due to her alcoholism. i did my best to remove myself from not just my family but from the fact that i was at one time an older brother.
for whatever reason, most of this has changed. maybe its the ginger/wolfberry tea i’ve been making. or the active meditation of tillering a bow. or the bobcat that lives near my favorite climbing route.
i sent my mom some sage/lavender truffles i made, going to visit her in a week. when i talk with cody, my little brother, i laugh as much as cry and no longer get mad.
i just don’t know what happened. this whole rewilding thing is very new to me and extremely healing. i really need to say thanks to urban scout and this entire community for being so welcoming and supportive.
urban, i am so glad you invited me here.
Animalhands!, thanks for your words. I feel your grief and praise in your words, though we are far apart. Emotion can still travel through cyberspace.
Thanks for being here.
thanks for sharing your soul, animalhands!. it really touched me to hear about your emotions and how they are changing.
for whatever reason, most of this has changed. maybe its the ginger/wolfberry tea i've been making. or the active meditation of tillering a bow. or the bobcat that lives near my favorite climbing route.
or all the above. it sounds like you have a lot of things working together in you favor.
i hope things go well when you visit your mom next week. and i hope your laughter continues to grow.
i know what you mean about the welcoming and supportiveness of this community. i feel it too. and it overwhelms me at times. i searched for such a long time to find people i could connect with on these ideas that i believe in so fiercely. and now i have so many new friends. like you.
I’m going to jump on top of the thanks pile here for animalhand’s story and for the community. I actually call it “our” forum in my head, not “the” forum.
thanks for all the support.
Animal hands,
You’re still a big brother :). I’m glad to hear things are going well with your family.