I Just can't shake this feeling


#1

It’s often the case, you’re awake at 12am racking your brains instead of sleeping and you come across a new word that helps you identify how you feel.

Rewild… that’s it, that’s how I feel.
I’m in my early thirties, own my own business had high paying jobs and low paying jobs and all the time I just can’t shake this feeling that this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be.

I’m not particularly “into” conservation or the notion that I should be yet it’s finding me.
I’ve traded my PlayStation and my digital life for learning about bushcraft and survival, primitive living and wild edibles.
The more I learn the more I see through the superficial nature of our kind, and as I hunger for more and more knowledge it feels like I am reconnecting to something… but I don’t know what.

I’m not particularly spiritual, I never had a holistic upbringing but it just feels like something is way way off.
The so called rat race is chaos and I’m by no means a conspiracy theory kind of guy but if I went to the doctors and told them I’m not feeling like I am living how I want to live the first thing you get is anti depressants.
Maybe somewhere deep down inside we know this life is not for us and the depression is a direct result of disconnection from the natural world .

I apologise if I’m rambling , this is literally the only place I’ve found that I can even remotely express how I feel without being judged as either a hippy or a nutter.

Kind regards
John


#2

Hi John—

To me your post is the exact opposite of rambling—it’s an uncommonly clear expression of feelings that I for one relate to very well, and suspect that many others on this forum do too. I wonder how many of us at one time thought there was nobody else in the whole world who felt that way. Then it was so amazing and encouraging to find out that there are others—and more all the time—awakening from the oblivion that has been the way of the civilization for so long.


#3

A lot of people feel the same way. Feel blessed that you acknowledged this feeling and made changes to your life instead of continuing to distract yourself with video games. So many are unhappy and live their life out, never figuring out why. Humans are so disconnected from the foundations and requirements of our species. I feel like we forgot we are organic matter and need to work symbiotically with the other species(plant, animal, mineral) and elements. Anyways, keep on trying new things that spark your curiosities. Eventually you will find a tribe or more purpose to your life. Just appreciate the journey and each adventure you take. All the best of luck!


#4

Ive known rewilding since I made the conscious decision on my own at a very young age and still rack my brain and have trouble sleeping sometimes! Ha at least your making the conscious non selfish human choice to acknowledge that the way most live is wrong and sick and stupid. You will get little hints at the beauty of this. Like identifying plants and using your body instead of intoxicants or distractions.


#5

How I relate to how you feel! Felt good just to read you. I live in a rural area, but am about 15 min from urbanity, have a full time job, feel there is hardly any time left in my hands every day and have almost daily thoughts about how crazy this world is. I am astonished at human’s capacity to forget about facts and reality and regularly I have thoughts of selling everything and go live in a little cottage in the woods. But I know I would long for people. So I do small things that make me feel better. Tonight, at dusk for instance, I went and walked in my backyard, observed the wildflowers, the trees, the automn turning leaves and I carefully listened to all the natural sounds coming from the little woodland at the back of our house; I heard crickets, a frog and insects I cannot identify ; I saw a Robin and a Woodpecker. I heard a few Canada Goose leave for their long trip down South. I felt happy thinking that all this life, although on a small patch of land, is protected in my backyard, where no one will cut any trees or put pesticides. I am a true believer in conservation and am seeking ways to protect land. That is what is keeping me alive. That, and knowing, thanks to this forum, that I am far from being alone in my endeavor.


#6

Rewilding is the closest thing I found for what have felt and been seeing is needed, for changing to. The call itself is for primitive living for continued sustainability in this world that is so needed, though it would soon be too late, that should have been how we would be living, all along. It would be in a way that people can live with, but not taking from this world more than what is needed for just that in simplicity. I see it was meant for us.


#7

I look around and see so much superficiality.
There’s a very good quote in a favourite film of mine from back in the 90s which is -

“advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, making us work jobs we hate, to buy sh** we don’t need.
" We’re the middle children of history man, we have no great war or great depression… Out war is a spiritual war, our great depression is our lives”

It’s only a film but it resonates with me more than ever, going back to nature is like going home.
I’d love to go and live in a hut in the woods or find a community of like minded people to join, but in this world its not always possible without playing the game first.

So what do you do being a minority, I feel its harder for us now because we see through the fog, even if we’re not in a position to action anything

John


#8

Yes! This is why I left the advertising world.

Money does nothing for me, no desire to earn it.
But how does one even go about living without it? How do you “cheat” the system?
Don’t get me wrong, I still have the need to contribute to society. However, having a specialized “hamster wheel” job does not appeal to me at all.

I feel like I’m waiting for someone to say,“let’s get the f#$& out and build a different life.”

But in all actuality, won’t probably happen.
Who knows though, this might be the right forum :wink:


#9

John – acceptance is a beast. Some things are so bad that I must detach myself from reality … And if I can accept that I ought to feel fine. There is so much sorrow, we are fortunate if we can joyfully participate in it without getting to close to destruction.


#10

Perhaps. Yet I wonder if the ability to see and enjoy “simple” things of beauty like sunrise colors, a heron crouching or a tree overcoming trimmings might make it easier. Riding a bus, it seems as if most people lose themselves in their little screens while the outside world has so many small gifts to offer.


#11

You can wait for someone else to walk in. Or maybe become that someone yourself. Most likely, that change already started, seeing you here on the forum. :slight_smile:


#12

I feel like I am waiting for old memories to crumble just a little and my eyes to open a little wider and my heart to beat a little stronger. This world is the way it is for a reason, and the best we can do is whatever our heart is telling us, in whispers, in screams, in tears, in all it’s mystery and majesty.

I want to meet my life head on, as is. To me that is building something. When life gives you lemons, can you truly waste them as long as you move forward with them for The Good? :slight_smile:

If you want to find that person you will most likely have to have the right words to say. Most people are stuck in some fashion, frozen in pain and spreading more pain with every step. Or maybe I am seeing things a little off. The statistics speak to me in disgusting ways.

Are you actively looking for this person? and isn’t that kind of what we are doing here? every effort is a big chip off the stone keeping us locked in our modern culture, and I see a lot of effort here. a lot.


#13

I think to really make a break you have to say fuck the system, what are you giving back to society? Are you being a spoke in the wheel or an example to follow, rewild8ng, small footprint, different positive ways of living? I still benefit from the man, food stamps and I drove for a couple months again when I was home, but I do it without caring that I don’t give back to this machine by paying taxes even though “ tax payers” fund my food. Actually most taxes are warfare oriented and not very much towards benefits. And I use mine honestly without one piece of garbage food purchased.
As well as pride. Go into town dirty and smelly and unappealing to most people. You’ll end up meeting those good one and weeding out the unsavory, suck holes.


#14

Like most, I feel stuck. Mostly in what I’ve heard called “paralysis of analysis.” The thoughts of rewilding frequent my mind. But doubt or uncertainty always seem to take over. Retraining our minds to disconnect from society and our culture definately takes time.
And you’re definitely right, takes the right words to find someone that would be willing to make those steps. Of course I can just start on my own. Maybe it just sounds better to do the “dirty work” with someone else.


#15

Sometimes I feel like I’m in a cancer ward, trying to have conversations with people dying spiritually. There is little room for joy in such a cultural catastrophe. We’re all hunting that smile together. If we aren’t maybe we should pee on our computers in shame.


#16

Yes it’s a continual struggle to defeat a brainwashing you are born into. . . I have this ideal and just love the life but still can’t maintain it without backing down a bit and needing to see friends and family for a time. . .but if you don’t give up on becoming feral at least you don’t quit


#17

Had a bad day. I am a menace and a nuisance and I apologize earnestly.,…,.


#18

I have often wondered at those who have read Daniel Quinn’s Ishmael, in which the character Ishmael speaks for how any of us could just leave civilization and live in the wild successfully, and they discuss with each other what the book means. It might mean making changes here and there, for what it seems to mean to them. We might just leave civilization like that, but the real issue is that we are social creatures. We won’t leave others at all, for living apart on our own, with very very few exceptions. Yet for many of us seeing the same need for such being in communication, why can’t there be groups of such individuals joining to leave civilization together for a stable and sustainable way apart from civilization? Of course, it needs to be groups of people who really are compatible together, with enough in common views, and from my perspective, common beliefs. There should be ways for such to be in places where they can meet with each other often enough, to know there will be these things working for it. And there should be land known for this with those who would go to that seeing how it will work for them there. Planning for a small community of such people moving away from civilization will still take enough communication for it among them. So it is not just as simple as just leaving civilization. But it is doable still, and could happen without taking long. Why does it not just go like that? Perhaps many of us are not anarchist enough to not need a strong leader who will unite those who will follow to the changes for leaving civilization for these things.