How to breastfeed in a bottlefeeding culture

Regenerative Culture Birthing & Caring for Children
#1

This is from an information sheet that I made up. Does anyone have any suggestions, additions, or subtractions?

Before Birth

  • Attend a breastfeeding class or La Leche League meeting.
  • Read about breastfeeding.
  • Do not accept free formula samples.

At The Hospital

  • Have the baby placed on your chest within an hour after birth.
  • Request 24 hour rooming in.
  • DO NOT allow any artificial nipples to be given.
  • Request an appointment with a lactation consultant.
  • Do not have your baby circumcised.
  • Do not accept free formula samples.

At Home

  • Do not give artificial nipples for at least two weeks.
  • Remember that sore nipples are not normal; they indicate that the baby is not latched on properly.
  • Sleep with your baby, or at least in the same room.
  • Do not supplement with formula except as a last resort. Try to get help from a lactation consultant or La Leche League leader.
  • If you do need to supplement, use a supplemental nursing system so that your nipples are still being stimulated.
  • Remember that doctors and nurses have no special training about breastfeeding; they are not experts in this area.
  • If you do have to stop breastfeeding due to lack of support, health problems, or bad information from health professionals, don’t feel guilty. You did your best and the system failed you.
#2
If you do have to stop breastfeeding due to lack of support, health problems, or bad information from health professionals, don’t feel guilty. You did your best and the system failed you.

Thank you so much for including that part, starfish. We tried like crazy to make it work, until it actually was making us crazy. In the end, going to the bottle was the better way for my wife and son to bond, as they both experienced a lot of stress when she was trying unsuccessfully to breastfeed and couldn’t find any help.

I think of it the same way I think of other aspects of rewilding: do what you can when you can and don’t beat yourself up over the rest.

#3

We had problems as well.My wife had to go back into the hospital just days after she and our son came home.She had a case of spinal meningitis.This left me with a new born and no prior knowledge of how to take care of one.
So for 5 days my son and I pressed on,and visited mom in the hospital.Breast feeding was not an advised option,due to the antibiotics and all the other stuff they had my wife on.
When she got to come home, Charlie couldn’t latch properly,and as well,he had become accustomed to the artificial nipple of the bottle.
It was hard for my wife,feeling she had missed out on a possibly integral bonding aspect of their relationship.
But we did move on,and he is as close to mother as I think he would have been anyways.
I don’t think she really carries the guilt anymore that she felt then.

#4

Great list, starfish. Truly, things don’t always go as planned.

Tsuchi–guilt never nourished anyone. Good thing you have a healthy wife & baby today!

I’d add:

Don’t let anyone, anywhere, tell you “you can’t nurse here”.

Or that your child has grown too old to nurse. You know best for your family.

[quote=“starfish, post:1, topic:315”]Try to get help from a lactation consultant or La Leche League leader.[/quote]Yes!!! Or someone! Talk to people, talk to women you know of all ages. You need the women in your community. Maybe a veteran nurser you know already will happily help. Almost any woman who nursed a baby will. La Leche rocks–if you can’t get to a meeting, just call them! In my experience, they provide enthusiastic, patient, experienced help for free, and they will go the extra mile with you & help you over bumps & hurdles. I hit 'em all in the first six weeks.

Don’t feel like you have to have nursing bras or nursing clothes or special nursing pillows–you don’t need doodads to do this!

Once you and your baby get things working right, nothing could be easier. You always have everything your baby needs to eat and drink, right there with you, already prepared, at the right temperature, in sufficient quantity and easy to deliver.

Don’t forget to nourish yourself! Your baby is building the body he’ll use the rest of his/her life. Don’t worry about the fat. You have a smart body, if it needs to hang onto a little buffer until weaning to safeguard your milk supply, it will. What matters more?

Consider sharing a bed. Once baby latches well on its own, you can roll over and nurse on your side, then go right back to sleep. This really helped us get more sleep.

Know that pumping and nursing work really differently. Baby gets the milk out of you far more efficiently.

When your child gets sick, vomiting, high fevers, anything that can scare the crap out of new parents–if you breastfeed, you’ve got the best way possible to comfort, nourish, and hydrate the kid, and make sure his/her immune system gets what it needs.

Slings can really help. I have chopped vegetables, walked around the city, etc. while nursing. Try out as many different kinds as possible, with the actual baby in it, to find one that works for you.

I read a fantastic book while I was pregnant called The Vital Touch: How Intimate Contact with your Baby Leads to Happier, Healthier Development by Sharon Heller. It opened my eyes to the difference between tribal childrearing and the world of bouncy seats, strollers, and play pens. Maybe that was my first step in rewilding. . .

#5

On the guilt thing, a lot of people don’t want to talk about the risks of formula feeding because it might make parents feel guilty. As a result, most Americans think formula is just as good or almost as good as human milk. If doctors and others felt comfortable discussing this, more people would probably breastfeed, resulting in less overall guilt :). I don’t see any reason for parents to feel guilty, no matter what they feed their children. We all do the best we can with the information and resources we have. I can’t imagine parents twirling their mustaches and saying, “I think I’ll feed my baby the least nourishing food I can, muwhahahaha!”

Yarrow Dreamer,
Thanks for those additions. I love what you said about body image. Our bodies may not fit the media image of sexiness, but they perform a much more useful and healthy function than selling cars or beer!

I would say that you may not need all the nursing paraphernalia, but it can help, especially in the early weeks. Instead of nursing clothes, I just wore a camisole or tank top under a regular shirt.

#6

I would add that it is possible to have another nursing mother feed a child if Mom is unable to nurse her child. (I see this as an option now, but mostly as a great option for the no-formula future.) I have read about a mother who nurses her child evening, night, and morning but during the day the childcare provider nurses the baby while Mom works.

Also, Mom and baby may benefit from a “babymoon” and from friends and family supporting them for the first few weeks. All they have to worry about is eating, sleeping, loving, nursing, peeing, pooping, etc. Only welcomed visitors… don’t get out of bed until Mom has slept for at leat 8 hours, etc.

Finally, it might be helpful to look at potential problems before giving birth and prepare an action plan just in case (especially if you would prefer herbal methods and need time to figure out what to do). Things to think about include: nipple/breast soreness, mastitis, low milk flow, etc.

Great topic!

#7

Our experience of guilt was just the opposite. We had so much information coming at us about how breastmilk is better than formula that the message we basically got was “if you don’t breastfeed, then you’re dooming your child to a life of separation, minimal development and illness.” Unfortunately, there was plenty of information about why it’s better but no support for us (that we could find) when we actually set about trying to do it. Like you summed it up in your first post, “You did your best and the system failed you.”

[quote=“dandelion, post:6, topic:315”]I would add that it is possible to have another nursing mother feed a child if Mom is unable to nurse her child. (I see this as an option now, but mostly as a great option for the no-formula future.) I have read about a mother who nurses her child evening, night, and morning but during the day the childcare provider nurses the baby while Mom works.

Also, Mom and baby may benefit from a “babymoon” and from friends and family supporting them for the first few weeks. All they have to worry about is eating, sleeping, loving, nursing, peeing, pooping, etc. Only welcomed visitors… don’t get out of bed until Mom has slept for at leat 8 hours, etc.

Finally, it might be helpful to look at potential problems before giving birth and prepare an action plan just in case (especially if you would prefer herbal methods and need time to figure out what to do). Things to think about include: nipple/breast soreness, mastitis, low milk flow, etc.

Great topic![/quote]

Nice comments, dandelion. In a tribal life, I think we’ll see more opportunity to put those kinds of ideas into action.

#8

I like those ideas too, Dandelion. In our society, you can breastfeed OR formula feed, but there aren’t really any in-between options. And as Rix pointed out, actual, physical support for breastfeeding is pretty sporadic.

#9

We have some great information in this thread, and it makes me wonder if anyone would be interested in writing up an article for the wiki on breastfeeding. Any takers (or Leavers, as the case may be)?

#10

a wiki article on natural child birth/related information would be good to have

#11
Do not have your baby circumcised.
This is good advice, but what does it have to do with breastfeeding? ???
#12

no idea but I’m glad I wasn’t.

(as if everyone wanted to know :stuck_out_tongue: )

#13

The trauma of circumcision can interfere with getting breastfeeding started. The baby tends to be withdrawn and less responsive. His interactions with his mother (including latching on) are reduced. Not all circumcised babies have trouble breastfeeding, but a significant number do. Here are some links:
http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/circumci.html
http://www.cirp.org/library/birth/
http://www.nocirc.org/statements/breastfeeding.php

Aren’t you lucky, Fenris :smiley:

#14

It’s not as if circumcision is unique in early life trauma. Many native cultures have fairly similar practices. It may produce a hurdle, but nothing that can’t be overcome.

#15
It's not as if circumcision is unique in early life trauma. Many native cultures have fairly similar practices.

What practices were those? Where is your information from? Thanks.

#16

Well hell, some of the Austrlian tribes honored the emu, so when a boy reached the right age, they slit the penis down to the urethra and shoved a stick in there. They’d let it seal up (I think they might have opened it and closed it a few times, and the stick eventually came out), in order to create a ridge of scar tissue on the underside of the penis, so it would more resemble an emu’s.

Compared to that, I’m downright grateful for the circumcision I got.

Ritual scarification and body modification are very widespread; circumcision is really on the tame end when you look at the full gamut of what different cultures (even, perhaps even especially, tribal cultures).

#17
It may produce a hurdle, but nothing that can't be overcome
.

True, but in our society it is only one hurdle among many and it’s one of the most easily prevented.

For the emu-penis thing, it’s not done at birth, right? So it’s not really a good example of a traumatic experience that would interfere with breastfeeding. From what I understand, primitive cultures treat their infants (although not necessarily older children) much more gently than our modern culture.

#18

Sometimes, not always. Body modification, ritual scarification and similar rituals often went all the way to birth. In that regard, our society’s practice of circumcision is nothing special. The pervasive isolation and systematic ignoring of the baby’s cries and feelings, the alternate neglect and pampering, those are distinctly civilized behaviors, and in that sense, yes, wild human cultures treated their infants much more gently than domesticated ones do.

#19

I made a new thread to talk about this, since we don’t seem to be discussing breastfeeding anymore.