jason godesky over at anthropik is a gifted thinker who has a definite knack for pinpointing flawed memes (imho).
i read his post on Inalienable Rights, Common Law & the Gay recently and was really moved by his arguments. he also points out (in the comments to the post more than the post itself) some very interesting indigenous sexual practices
it’s a non-issue. THey are too hellbent on gaining acceptance of homosexual marriage than their are of getting the actual benefits.
Example: My fiancee’s best friend is a lesbian, been with her GF for ten years. THey were going on and on about how they wanted to get married one night. I asked them “why did it matter, aren’t they together already?” She replied they were, but there are a number of things they still can’t do, like buy property together, or make medical decisions for one another, or file taxes together. I said “Fine, Do a durable unlimited Power of Attorney(POA) over one another, and that solves everything but taxes”. I went on to explain how a POA would give them the power to make any and all med decisions in case of incapacitation, purchase property and “donate” half-interst to one another, etc etc. Her reply was"it’s not the same, I want everyone to accept our union". I coulnd’t help her there.
That’s the answer. Fuck playing the Man’s game on his terms, use his terms to play your own game. A POA would stand up in any Court, and with full faith and credit any state would accept it with even blinking.
But it’s not about that, it’s about getting strangers to accept and pat them on the back for their “lifestyle”.
make sure to read my signature after this one.
the whole paradigm is based on dualistic relationships. this severely limits our ability to love and be seen as individuals. we get two molds to fit into. i think to struggle for gay marriage is trying to expand that paradigm by showing that the dualistic model is a limit on freedom, individuality and community.
23, it sounds that your friends are totally within that paradigm, if so, why not let them fight it? thats where they’re at. the POA is solid but it still excludes the ultimate symbol of union in this country, ability to share taxes. i could care less about who i share my taxes with but i at least have the opportunity to do so if i choose.
its good to step on toes, it lets us know we needs move a bit instead of stand there.
thanks
to me, godesky’s argument seemed to focus more on the impact of perceiving one class of citizens as being less worthy of rights than another. not to make too much of a comparison, but it’s similar to the concept of black americans only counting as 3/5 of a person according to the law–they probably wouldn’t have counted as any kind of person if the southern statesmen didn’t think they could get something out of it (higher population counts meant more representatives in congress).
you raise a great point, 23, about working within the rules of the game to win it in your own way. there can be great vindication in that. but i definitely feel for your friend–it really isn’t the same as having the right to get married and the right to make decisions on each other’s behalf.
i was also just thinking about what godesky said about this:
"But they're free to marry people of the opposite sex, just like the rest of us!" many retort. In short, they have the right to enjoy the rights of marriage, so long as they stop being gay. ... If homosexuality is genetic, then how does this proposal differ from "But they're free to marry, as long as they become white!" If homosexuality is a choice, then how does this proposal differ from "But they're free to marry, as long as they convert to Christianity!"it's like saying that a black man in 1800 was free to own his own land as long as he became white. it's still a matter of second class citizenry.
i also find it fascinating that the concept of two-spirited people (man spirit in a woman’s body or vice-versa) often called berdache (even though that term is often taken to be derogative by many native americans) was so prevalent that godesky comments:
It would be easier to list the Native American cultures that don't have a "Two Spirit" than those that do.
now, i’m not arguing that my flaming friends parading down the streets of chelsea are the equivalent of a revered two-spirit. but i think they could have been if the culture that fostered them (almost said “that nurtured them” and then realized that “nurture” is the exact opposite of what most of my friends experienced) maintained that belief system. instead of being seen as fckng ffggts that brought shame to their families, they could have had a place in their society that would have at minimum allowed them to live no differently than single-spirited people and at maximum might have provided them a specific holy status:
Two-spirited individuals perform specific social functions in their communities. In some tribes male-bodied two-spirits were active as healers or medicine persons, gravediggers, undertakers, handling and burying of the deceased, conducted mourning and sexual rites, conveyers of oral traditions and songs, nurses during war expeditions, foretold the future, conferred lucky names on children or adults, wove, made pottery, made beadwork and quillwork, arranged marriages, made feather regalia for dances, special skills in games of chance, led scalp-dances, and fulfilled special functions in connection with the setting up of the central post for the Sun Dance. In some tribes female-bodied two-spirits typically took on roles such as chief, council, trader, hunter, trapper, fisher, warfare, raider, guides, peace missions, vision quests, prophets, and medicine persons. --[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Two-Spirit]Wikipedia: Two-Spirit[/url]
WoW… now this is one I never expected to see… I’m gay. I think two people should be recognised as a couple legally no matter what. I don’t care if it’s calle dmarrage, as long as it’s equal legally.
My idea of fasion is a tough pair of leather boots and a rifle!
I have to say that I have read several postings that say how hard it is to find someone to rewild with, but being gay makes the prospects even more difficult. Most str8 people are less than enthusieastic about rewilding with someone gay, and finding someone else that is gay to rewild with… lets just say I’d have better luck buying a lottery ticket.
The Porcupine Palace people are a queer community of rewilders. They are just north of Seattle.
yeah, most of the rewilders i know in meatspace aren’t concerned about whether or not you’re gay or straight, unless they’re dating you i guess.