This thread has started to grind on my nerves.
Let me tell a little bit of my story here, as it pertains to rewild.info.
I do moderator work here with this attitude: whatever environment I help create, will draw like to like.
If I create an environment of rules, as personal power-trips where my word comes down as law, then I’ll start attracting folks who want that.
I don’t like those people (sorry to ‘those people’, but I don’t. your kind leaves me with the blahs). I like those-who-rewild - folks who question, stand up for their inner nature (in a tao-of-pooh kind of way), and who innovate without regard to conventional cultural concepts of risk. In other words, you guys.
I know, of course, this implies a possibly bumpy ride here - heck, why not scream and poop and rub dirt in each other’s hair, doesn’t that ‘innovate without regard to conventional yadda yadda’?
So how to temper it? For me, it feels really simple. We all know what makes sense to each one of us, i.e. to ME. To all us ME’s here.
Let’s assume, as questioning beings with varying and unique inner natures (and truths), that different things make sense to each one of us. Some people will have triggers with certain words, with certain topics. Some people will feel constrained by certain guidelines, or certain notions of ‘how to discuss’ things.
Rewilding means honoring all of these together, doesn’t it? How do we do that?
Understanding, for me as a moderator, that if I don’t honor all these things together, someone will start their own rewild.info. A better one. They’ll probably even call it ‘rewilding.info’ too. Or maybe ‘rewildingrox.org’, or ‘borntorewild.net’, or something really cool like that.
I don’t have any power here except to make honey that will attract the bees I care about. I have to keep this place sweet.
This thread tastes a little sour in my mouth.
For me, my personal algorithm for useful conversation here goes ‘tell your story, ask a question, or post somewhere else appropriate to what you want to say different’. I encourage this because I think it will tend to create what I want here. However, I could use this as a bludgeon, just like the Founding Fathers used the Iroquois Great Law of Peace to create the beast known as the US Constitution, to beat people over their head with.
I only have to leave out the Peace part.
In our context, I like to call this ‘generous interpretation’. In what way would what the other person has to say, make sense? What most positive and genuine meaning can one reasonably read into another’s email? And, do I have an investment in other people adjudicating me as ‘Right’, as opposed to ‘Wrong’?
Perhaps the guideline I encourage needs an extra bit? ‘Tell a story, ask a question, and read posts assuming the most positive interpretation.’
For me, what George Carlin or Lenny Bruce, or any other heroes of mine would think about the general tight-assed reaction to words like ‘bitch’, ‘fuck’, etc., seems irrelevant to the person I have right in front of me, looking for community, and having a story to tell. I want to know: what can I do to welcome them, to create a safe enough space to hear their story, a story that will surely show me something unlooked for and unique about rewilding? Yeah, fuck the system…but not this person sitting right here, in front of me. Systems suck. People have hearts that beat.
You’ll notice, surely, that I don’t type platitudes and roll over for folks for just anything. But if I can get to a place of sincerity, I’ll do what it takes to make that happen. And if that means not saying my favorite swear words, who cares?
My friend Derrick won’t go near alcohol. It freaks him out. Well shit, get over it, Derrick, right? I mean, native peoples brewed herbal wine and beers all round the world. Alcohol has a long and distinguished history. Hill peoples in the US made it to keep their close-to-the-land culture intact. Alcohol rox!
Unless of course, I ask Derrick why he can’t handle the smell of alcohol. And I hear his childhood stories of abuse at the hand of a drunken father. Suddenly my lucid and correct critique of those who have a problem with alcohol seems like a bunch of bullshit. Or rather, I can ‘BE’ right, or I can have a friend. I can show off my Ph.D. in the history of alcohol (or the use of the word ‘bitch’, or any other thing), or I can have community (yes, filled with people who have irrational hang-ups, moodiness, cry at inappropriate times, etc. i.e., real people.). We don’t know before hand what will touch someone off - we can only respond afterwards with empathy and friendship (if we value these things).
NOBODY HERE CAN TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE, OR DO YOUR OWN REWILDING.
But when we come together, with all our foibles and excellences, we need help to share our we do our own rewilding. So guidelines pop up, and I make sure to stress them often: tell your story, ask a question (or make a request), and interpret generously with lots of empathy.
And don’t forget to ask for help if you need it, from anybody!
