So… Like… Where do babies come from? No seriously though, say I don’t know how to deliver a baby, a doctor can’t make it in time, and for some reason, I have called you and need you to tell me how to deliver a baby. How do I do it?
Thank you for posting, Urban Scout.
An excellent question! But first I have one for you:
How do I help you take a shit? Seriously.
Your body knows what to do. You believe in your ability to shit. You need a private, safe, familiar place to take a shit comfortably. Shitting usually does not cause pain. It may even feel pleasurable. It works best when you relax. Usually squatting feels like a good position. And, you shit better when you eat well, exercise, and generally are in good health.
So… I can help you find a private, safe, familiar place, and I can remind you that you have the power to shit if you doubt yourself. I can help you relax if you begin to tense up. I can help hold you in a squat if you need support.
Birth follows the same principles as shitting.
A woman and her unborn baby have the power to birth without assistance if that woman believes in her own power, has a private, safe, familiar place to be and is able to relax and perhaps squat. She may even feel pleasure.
So, you can help her find a private, safe, familiar place, and you can remind her that she has the power to birth her baby if she doubts herself. You can help her relax if she begins to tense up. You can help hold her in a squat if she needs support.
I will post at another time to further answer your question!
hot(superclean) water, clean towels, and a pocketknife.
frying pan to catch the placenta in? mmmmmhhhmmmmm!
haven’t you watched TV Scout???
How do I help you take a shit? Seriously.
Haha. That’s hilarious. This is really good. Thank you.
LOVED your response, Dandelion! Thank you.
I had all my babies in a hospital and would never do it again. I’d give birth in a cornfield before going back into a hospital. But, that’s the ideal and not always possible.
My youngest daughter had two births with a midwife at home and then an unassisted birth with only herself and husband there for the third. My eldest daughter had three c-sections, after struggling to give birth for more than a week the first time, more than two days the second, and labored for twelve hours with the third. We eventually learned that when she was four years old and severely burned, it had scarred her cervix and it would NOT dilate. My daughter-in-law had two children in a hospital, then lost the third in the hospital, then had the fourth and fifth ones at home, unassisted, other than by my son catching the baby as it came out.
Snowflower
Haha. That's hilarious. This is really good. Thank you.
You’re welcome!
frying pan to catch the placenta in? mmmmmhhhmmmmm!
On a serious note, I’ve read that the placenta can be eaten to stop maternal hemorrhaging as well as for nourishing purposes. That being said, I can’t stop picturing Urban Scout frying up placentas on the sidewalk.
LOVED your response, Dandelion! Thank you.I had all my babies in a hospital and would never do it again. I’d give birth in a cornfield before going back into a hospital. But, that’s the ideal and not always possible.
Thank you, snowflower, for sharing some about your daughters’ experiences. I totally agree that it’s not always possible to give birth without assistance. Most of the time, yes, and mom & baby are better off, but sometimes, a woman does just need help, and, if available and desired, she should seek it out.
and like you said about shitting, being healthy before hand makes it easier when it comes to crunch time.
my wife constantly had the threat of preeclampsia looming over her, and my friend had to have an emergency c-section at 30 weeks (iirc) because she became preeclamptic. that shit scares the hell out of me. but both women were in bad health before and during (and in my wife’s case, at least) after the pregnancy. in fact, we got pregnant because her doctor wouldn’t prescribe the pill anymore due to her blood pressure issues–that and we… you know… weren’t careful (didn’t reach for the condom in the moment).
we were mentally ready for a child at that point, though, so we weren’t trying to prevent one. had we known what we were getting into with the health scares, though, my son probably wouldn’t be here.
I have never in my life taken a pleasurable shit. ;D But it’s funny, because I have often thought, while taking a particularly enormous shit, “This must be what childbirth is like… only EVEN BIGGER.”
And yes, I realize that everyone on this board who has seen me or will see me in real life will now have the image of me on the toilet taking a gigantic shit burned into their brains for all eternity. 
sick dude. why did I click that? 
Prissy, the weird thing is I had that image in my mind before you posted this. Just kidding.