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Visions of the Rewilding Renaissance Grief & Praise
#1

I’m back. Sigh.

I created this account last year (last June actually), but soon abandoned it after executing a move from Edmonton to Montreal (both in Canada, for any internationals who may not know). Suffice it to say, the “newness” of life in a new city has begun to wear off, and I find myself beginning to approach a similar junction in life as I did last summer.

I don’t mean that life has found me extremely happy over the past year, and that things have suddenly taken a horrid turn for the worse. Rather, the dislike of civ and everything it stands for has carried with me throughout the entire duration, but my ability to suppress that dislike has begun to wear thin. Precision would show that I have carried this immense “dislike” for many years now.

I have tried to avoid coming back here, because I know that returning becomes the first step to re-admitting that I am unhappy with my circumstances as a member of civ. And once I start to admit such things, everything else will probably start to spiral out of control. How long until I can no longer withstand having a job I don’t want? And once I desert that job, how many weeks can I manage to keep the apartment’s rent paid? And once the apartment vanishes, where to from there? The whole story following that point becomes frightening to me.

My thoughts are swaying towards the idea of buying the camping/survival gear necessary to simply disappear into the mountains. The run-off-into-the-forest gig simply presents itself to me as quite the hrm… fulfilling… prospect. I don’t need lectures about the foolishness such an adventure exudes; I have absolutely no experience or knowledge that would help me in such a journey. I would find myself playing a game of “how long can the clueless guy survive in the wild?”. A game, no doubt, that would result in nothing more than my premature and foolish death.

Stupid? Sure. But at the same time, the idea of living in a state of true happiness and freedom, if only for a few weeks, mesmerizes me. Trade in an overly long life of civ bullshit for 4 weeks of sheer bliss, followed by death by starvation or poisonous berries? Almost sounds appealing.

Just the nonsensical ramblings of a guy who’s back in that place of “ah shit, my world’s about to start crumbling”. :wink:

  • Nathan
#2

Although I am well aware that when speaking here giving advice is top no-no I would think advising someone hatching such a plot might make for an exception… if you do do the things you mention you could do, please please document it, preferably in video format. I can see how someone as seemingly articulate as you choosing a foolhardy wilderness demise could work towards altering public mindset regarding civilized conditions. If in your final hours you spewed some stunning & otherwise totally sane diatribe followed by a colorful exit it might start someone thinking. ::slight_smile:

#3

Haha, thanks Richard. Your post officially counts as my “mood booster” of the day. My mind runs rampant with thoughts of a “colourful exit” along the lines of hand-to-hand combat with a bear, all caught on tape. That part might provide great entertainment (and possibly education?) for others to watch. :stuck_out_tongue:

I find it difficult to imagine exactly how such a trip would turn out. The main issue that plagues me has to do with the idea that a national park ranger might find me, and attempt to excise me from the land. I just see myself fighting back (physically) and refusing to leave, which would eventually lead to finding myself in some court telling the judge I don’t recognize their authority, and that they can shove their gavel somewhere where it would actually mean something in the grand scheme of things. However my mind manages to wander on the details, it tends to wind up with me landing in jail or some psych ward. Civ has a habit of removing those who oppose the system (even if rationally and non-violently).

#4

You’re not alone…That is the story (off and on) of the past 5 years of my life… except at first it was gritting my teeth to bear through college, and now it’s keeping a job. I think that if I had quit college, my parents would have basically disowned me, and I wouldn’t have borne it well, it would have spelled my demise. At least now, after I’ve fulfilled their expectations of getting a degree, I have the excuse of “figuring out what to do next.”

Stupid? Sure. But at the same time, the idea of living in a state of true happiness and freedom, if only for a few weeks, mesmerizes me. Trade in an overly long life of civ bullshit for 4 weeks of sheer bliss, followed by death by starvation or poisonous berries? Almost sounds appealing.

I’ve seriously entertained the idea of making an abrupt switch like that too. Except that I wouldn’t run off alone, I’d look for a group to run to–preferably an intact indigenous group–and just trust myself over to them. I think about leaving a fake suicide note so that I am exonerated from debt, then nobody will try to come after me. (I wonder if I would tell my family about my plans first, or if I would find a way to contact them after a few months.)

#5

Over the years (even before ai knew ai hated civ), ai’ve constantly thought about doing a similar thing to what you propose for yourself. But ai never have. And now that ai have people who think on similar terms, in whom to confide in and go away WITH, ai know it was the right choice to stay just a little longer. Ai’m now starting to transition to a small woodland in Arizona and ai hope to lure them to come along :P. Ai hope you dont do anything too foolish lol. But if you do, always DOCUMENT ;D.

#6

Haha… alright Chase, I’ll even shake on it with you. :slight_smile:

#7

Hey all,

Hi Woodsman, in the summer of 93 I did something similar to what you’re considering doing. I’m originally from the south shore of Montreal, but at the time of my move in the bush, I was living in Manitoba. My brother and I had been living there for about a year and a half. We decided, after checking on a map of British Columbia (Canada) to pack up and hitch hike there.

From the map, we had spotted an area where there was no civilization in a radius of at least 50 km. So we brought a bit of clothes, a knife, matches, some fishing string, and perhaps a few other things I don’t remember.

So we left Manitoba and the hitch hiking trip to get there went ok. When we finally got to Lillooett river, we left the road AND civilization and as we were leaving it, I let out a loud victory & freedom scream! We spent that night by the fire under the stars…

Then next morning came. We had planned on following the river until we’d find the right spot to “settle”, while fishing along the way for our sustenance. We didn’t want to have anything to do with civilization. Just plain free. We were gonna live off hunting, fishing, trapping, gathering. I had recently made my first bow and although I left it back in Manitoba - I couldn’t hitch hike with that stickin out of my bag - I was gonna make myself another one as soon as possible. So anyway, we were gonna start our journey toward the deep woods but a few problems occured right away. A chopper would fly over our heads at an average of about every 15 minutes. And as we started looking around a little better we realized that the hills, the forest was under some heavy cutting. We didn’t want to be seen,
so it was impossible to fish. And the choppers were clearly going in the same direction we were heading…So long story short, we got back to our community with our tails between our legs, and a little thinner since we had ran out of money on the way to freedom…

The following couple of springs, I’d prepare to head to the bush again, but each time, different events occured in my life that made it interesting enough so that I’d stay another year. Today, I still don’t wanna have anything to do with this civilization…But that’s another story. ::slight_smile: Or is it ?

Just thought i’d share. Not trying to tell you to do it or not. But it’s great to hear that others are feeling the same urge.

Regards

#8

Thanks for the story misko. I suppose helicopters and deforestation will ruin an adventure quite quickly. If I ever do go as extreme as getting away from it all, hopefully I’ll have better luck at choosing a location (I’ve been Google mapping Alberta a bit, avoiding the major parks like Banff and Jasper). Definitely a lot of mountain space a person should be able to disappear into… and hopefully manage to find one’s way back out if desired. :slight_smile:

#9

Woodsman- Does it have to be all or nothing? Are you really left with a choice of worthless, dead, existence as a wage slave in a big city or heading off into the wilderness to die alone?

Can you start moving toward the life you would like to be living? Making choices when they present themselves that get you a little closer one step at a time.

Yarrowdreamer just made a great post that gets right at what you are talking about. http://www.rewild.info/conversations/index.php?topic=1022.msg11058#new