Apologies to Strangers

Visions of the Rewilding Renaissance Grief & Praise
#1

I admit I have the most trouble understanding myself.

I’ve thrown myself into the wind and have begged to understand that which is not understood.

I have found myself in an ocean of information, where blue dragons beg to be freed, where earthen monster are dying of hunger, where air sprites lay on their back choked with exhaust and exhaustion.

I apologize to people who don’t already know that I’m part coyote and part cah-ray-zhey. I’ll try and not infest this board with too much of my mystical zen and Miami beliefs.

I’ve had a few mood swings already while reading this site, and all I want is someone to band together to awaken the sleeping blue dragons of the land around me.

Enlightenment comes in moments, only when one dies does one enter into a perfectly natural state.

#2

ok, well, having been the most recent person to say “i don’t understand” to you…

i don’t usually have that much difficulty understanding you, specifically, but occasionally i’ll have that much difficulty understanding anybody!

i’ve long since figured out that you’re “part coyote and part cah-ray-zhey” :smiley:

don’t bother me none

and as for:

“I’ll try and not infest this board with too much of my mystical zen and Miami beliefs.”

shit, as long as it relates (even if oddly, prolly especially if oddly) post all you want, you got my interest…

#3

I really appreciate those words.

I used to be really personally engaged in this and other sites, but I feel like my interest waxes and wanes, and that from a regular’s point of view, I appear to be the ghost of a prodigal son, throwing around imaginary weight! But truly, I was working really hard, and the rug was swept from under me, and so, I come back to places like these, and honestly, the validation of existence through the message boards has been mysteriously programmed into my brain.

It hits me sometimes how misanthropic I can be, and the only thing this body know how to do is apologize and consternate.

#4

hopefully, we never develop the habit of doing that. not everyone can be “a regular”, not everyone should be “a regular”, and i hope that this community always recognizes the value of people who go out, then come back to say what they found, which i’ve seen you do many times. it’s valuable, and those who do it are valuable.

i’ve been at a lot of message boards over the years that, well, they just suck. i mean, they’re just boards, you know? but, i really think i’ve found something real w/ anthropik, the scouts, rix, rewild.info, ran, aaron & everyone else trying to figure out wtf? on how to get where we want to be. it doesn’t feel like a board, it feels like people. so, i guess, i’m asking: is your brain looking for validation from “message boards” or people you know share a common goal? i’d guess the latter, and i gotta say, that seems pretty damn human to me.

#5
but, i really think i've found something real w/ anthropik, the scouts, rix, rewild.info, ran, aaron & everyone else trying to figure out wtf? on how to get where we want to be.

Thanks, jhereg! I feel the same way, and that’s why I jumped into this community as heartily as I did. I couldn’t agree with you more.

I used to be really personally engaged in this and other sites, but I feel like my interest waxes and wanes, and that from a regular's point of view, I appear to be the ghost of a prodigal son, throwing around imaginary weight! But truly, I was working really hard, and the rug was swept from under me, and so, I come back to places like these, and honestly, the validation of existence through the message boards has been mysteriously programmed into my brain.

It hits me sometimes how misanthropic I can be, and the only thing this body know how to do is apologize and consternate.

TonyZ, wax and wane all you need. The community as a whole tends to flow with the tides and change with the seasons. As it should.

I get that you run crazy with the coyote. I may not always understand your words, but I don’t mind that. I do tend to get your spirit more than your words, and I like that.

#6

Hey, man, the only sane reaction sometimes is to go crazy.

But if we’re having trouble understanding, it may help to look over your post and find out what terms you are using we don’t understand. You seem to have your own very unique idolect, which is just my over-educated way of saying you use words in your own way, ways that we can only learn when you explain them to us. Now, using words in your own way can lead to misunderstanding, (it cuts down on the comprehensibility of your prose), but on the other hand, it is the origin point of all poetry. Sadly, Message boards tend to lend themselves to prose better.

#7

Thanks dudes. I wish I was good at playing a character, cause then there would be rules and expectations, and a recognizable shape to man behind the mask.

I feel like I only contribute side glances, when I know if I could actually hang out with ya’ll, especially those who would still go hungry in the woods, I could deliver the knockout punch.

My local band is growing but I’m still the node, not a connection. It all comes down from my training and my knowledge, it’s cool here because there are some assumptions I can leap off.

The original internet band for me broke up when Ishcon went offline. Ironically, the last connection I have from the first Ishcon will be visiting me next month, but she lives in Wisconsin. That is a connection that is now 8 years old. Ironically, Ishcon wasn’t originally an on-line forum, but a in-person forum. The 2002 Ishcon introduced to the world the first silverbacks, Janene, Jim, Matt(Ghost) and myself after we went online a month after the conference.

It’s complicated, wanting all your friends in one place, and having this feeling like where you are would be a great place to be, if people could only see it…

I appreciate that I don’t appear to be ‘in abuse’ of this site, even though I don’t get the point of E-prime, or live on the west coast. But it’s the closest place to home right now, and thanks for letting me in.

I have seen lots of my invented colloquialisms in use. But I also smoke a lot of great pot and sometimes I don’t know what I mean, but am glad it can be useful. and now, we dance!

(now will I sing galactic haikus to better understand me)

smoke swirls and chaos leaves
only the impression of
the real thing remains

the real swirls and then leaves
only the impression of
galactic pink noise hangs

microwaves tuned by slaves
solar prison galactic
drains, ring around the bathtub

solar sleeves, nazis
lunar ventriloquists crazed
earthen mother saves

atom embodied
spirit evades Xibalba
black hole ducked tape shut

mycelial mat
neuron net; nodes of plenty
Milky Way the same

mind; a reflection
creates ideas like gods
where is the mirror?