I have been in camp with Tranny Granny for about a month now. She warned me that I would be getting in touch with my anger out here in the wild. She was so very right about that.
I grew up in a home where anger was expressed as violence. I adapted by turning anger out and trying to find the root emotion. There in denying my own anger and right to be angry.
Now that I have had my shop and compare with Tranny Granny and seen for myself those very things that she had been speaking to any that will listen. The cattle out on the wild desert trampling and eating everything in their path. The biscuit roots ground to dust under the hoof of McDonalds, the rivers pumped dry to water crops that only feed cattle in the middle of the day when the sun is hot enough to evaporate it before it even hits the roots. All for the mighty dollar. I came from eight years at the Starfuckers headquarters to the wild. I gave up everything that I had accumulated in order to be open and available to the rewilding experience. Now I have to be open to my anger and grief.
I have to sit with those feelings of rage at heartless (dare I call them) human beings that cannot see out of the way they were socialized to believe in and kill everything wild and free in the process. How can I make room in my heart for those people, who would burn, trample, and kill all that I strive to plant and give back?
These are the questions that I am faced with learning this good way to walk in beauty. I am perfucked that way.
I would say to anyone that is listening or reading this post, please come out and help with this planting back. I would ask that if you are considering it to bring tough skin, willingness to be a baby in this thing, and give it all that you have.
Thanks for listening.