Willem's moderation style has changed

Folks. 99% of y’all I just love to death. Thanks for joining in on Rewild.info. Some of you even act more concerned than necessary over possibly crossing a forum guideline; still, I appreciate the care and interest in respecting the culture here.

We have a continuing tiny percentage (very tiny) of folks who seem really uninterested in stepping lightly, getting to know the forum, reading the “READ THIS FIRST” topic, etc.

Frankly, this boggles my mind. Internet or no, anonymity or full identity disclosure, I come from a culture where you say please and thank you, respect the host, and look to others with more experience to learn how to “fit in”.

I’ve had some experiences lately where I send a polite pm to a new member who seems a little “loud”, asking them to slow down, and I get a lot of indignance in response.

Once again, this totally boggles my mind.

I used to react with patience, understanding, and a willingness to have a looooooong conversation until they felt heard and then could finally participate in the forum in the way we all enjoy; Telling A Story, Asking A Question, etc.

Honestly folks, I don’t have energy for that anymore. I spend less and less time on the internet (believe it or not :slight_smile: ), and just don’t have the mindset I used to have.

Also I don’t get paid for this.

In discussion with Urban Scout, we’ve decided that we want mature people, with adult sensibilities (even mature 9 year olds with adult sensibilities count!), who know how to treat other folks and resist the temptations of the anonymous internet environment. And who do the work to read forum guidelines and such. We’ve decided to have new members experience a 30-day delay in posting privileges upon sign up.

Honestly, I don’t believe in Free Speech, when it comes to my living room. Rewild.info doesn’t sit in the public square; it sits in my digital living room.

Now, here comes the important part. I don’t care what anyone posts on the forum here, really. You may think I do, but I don’t. I care how you respond when I make a request of you to change how you post or what you post about. Do you see the difference? The first requires some mind reading ability (even though I know we have clear guidelines, but the internet doesn’t always make for clarity). The second requires simple respect.

What do I want you to say in response to a request? “Oh, I didn’t realize I had crossed a line. I will change how I post.” or “Oh, thanks for the tip. Could you give me more information on what you mean by “Tell a Story, Ask a Question”, because I thought I did that”, etc. etc.

This really doesn’t seem like Rocket Science to me. For me, Rewilding doesn’t stop with primitive skills; it includes how we treat one another, how we conduct ourselves, how we walk as a guest in the world.

From now on, when I get an indignant response, I will now just ban the member for 30 days, without further discussion. I regret that some folks will hear this and worry that they have to walk on eggshells to avoid such a consequence. I certainly don’t intend it that way, but I know that electronic-internet-words will always conspire to make communication difficult. So it goes.

For now, I would appreciate hearing that folks support these decisions, and value the atmosphere of this forum. What do you all think?

1 Like

Sounds reasonable to me.

I can easily understand posts that call for a moderator pm, but, yeah, if the response to that is indignation or hostility instead of respectful clarification, sure, a 30 day ban seems entirely reasonable to me.

Having been on the receiving end of a polite request to change behavior slightly, I think it’s a reasonable sanction on someone who would react in such an immature way to a basically benign request. I mean seriously, that shit just isn’t called for. It’s not like the rules here are restrictive.

I understand, respect, and second your decision Willem.

And I really like this forum.
This is great work you all are doing here, moderators as well as members.
I don’t really know how much time and energy the creators and moderators of this forum spend in relation to this forum but I suspect that as in any project, it must be alot.


If not for the atmosphere of respect and safe space here, I certainly would still lurk out there in cyberspace, keeping my thoughts to myself, and would have missed out on A LOT. I know plenty of folks out there need the same thing.

I value this forum and support your decision.

“Telling A Story, Asking A Question, etc.”

I enjoy your moderation a bunch and too I crave these values we have at my other forums and groups to such a respect that I have resigned from other groups and forums for feeling that they barely bare those values too much. I joined this forum at a time when we never had those values available to read and I think I did just ok posting except for one time. I apologize. With them available to read I feel affirmed and I have more clarity both with what you feel and with what I feel, I feel. Thank you.

PS. “Also I don’t get paid for this.”

That sucks! (I feel an unidentified pressure to say “to me” prior to that. Hm.)

Personally, ai think 30 days (both of them) could be a bit excessive, but the basic plan ai agree with. Perhaps 2-3 weeks?

For the sake of consistency, I will be following Willem’s example. If I find somebody violating the basic rules, ask them to change their behavior, and am met with vitriol, I will do the 30-day ban.

However, right before banning the member I will send them a message telling them why, and include links to the threads where we lay down expectations.

I resist. I could say lots of inappropriate things, flagrant or subtle, and make some squeamish types uncomfortable.

I would enjoy it.
I stop myself anyway.

I want a thank you.

That said… [size=20pt]MUTINY!!![/size]