Is the decision to rewild yourself also a decision to remain alone?

Regenerative Culture Relationships, Partnerships & Sexuality
#1

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Primitivism distances me from my relatives, including my brother. I’ve stopped bringing it up in their presence. My brother at least accepts that civilization is broken, but he is unable to accept primitivism as an alternative.

Dating is futile it seems; the first and last time I mentioned it to a girl I was dating, she was disturbed and scared by the concept. When subsequent conversations left her less and less receptive to the idea, even hostile, I soon broke up with her. It’s not hard to observe that primitivist groups have an uneven male to female ratio, which I attribute to the fact that civilization has imposed much stricter and more domestic standards on women.

The question is not whether to give up rewilding myself. Quite the opposite. I firmly believe in the morality of primitivism. I am certain of the mental and physical health benefits, as I have seen them firsthand and browsed many studies. And, you know, 1.5 million years of relatively successful, sustainable ancestors are impossible to ignore. I would rather die than give up and participate in the continued descent of civilization and Earth into madness. So, my question is not whether to give up on rewilding myself. My question is whether it’s a good idea to give up on people instead. I’m pretty much a hermit anyway, but having absolutely nobody to talk to still grates after a while, and false hope makes it worse. Is the decision to rewild oneself actually a decision to remain alone, and is that something I should accept?

#2

I woudnt give up you never know who will respond with the right attitude. I do know that by attending classes and events you may just find the one.
I see a lot of the women tribe at events , some are even better at it than many men. At our Dirttime events lots of the woman sector show up , at Rabbit Stick and Wintercount the same. It might even come down the age group as well.

For someone you meet outside of those type of events I would take it very slow in introducing the subject and then stay away from the hard core stuff a slow intro is best , I feel … at best it is an intimidating subject for many men, much less the women. If a woman sees no future in it that is a losing battle if they see a life of drudge , you are no longer a catch.

perhaps the women on the forum can contribute with their point of view. They would have more of an insight than I do …

Dude

#4

My husband is not a rewilder, but he does have an open mind. On joint decisions, he’s adapted many of my rewilding beliefs and practices, while on singular stuff, he remains more mainstream.

My point is, you’re pool of people for a potential partner is larger than just the rewind community. They just need an open mind.

That said, there is loneliness with being part of any minority, and I’m part of a few. That’s why places like this are so helpful, just to be able to bounce thoughts off of like-minded people.

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#5

Yes, I agree with Karen: You don’t need to look for a female rewilder, per se, but a female with an open mind.

I became friends with a guy who was really…a bit of a tech person, who’s job was building computers and who’s primary source of entertainment came from video games and Youtube videos (about gaming). I certainly didn’t expect him to be open to rewilding, and while he may not embrace it with the same enthusiasm that I do, he does get enjoyment from it. So I didn’t look for a rewilding man (or anyone at that moment), but I found an open-minded man. I can’t say we’ll be together forever, as its only been two years of my short life, but it goes to show that some people may be more flexible in their ideas than you might’ve thought.

Oh, and when said man was interested in dating me, I got the whole “rewilding” thing out on the table ASAP, so it wouldn’t have to be this awkward thing to learn about me after he had already been emotionally attatched to me. But I guess both ways work (telling before or after the relationship starts.)

#6

My kin are pathetically domesticated. They have your typical occassional distrust of authority, but when it comes down to it, they’re too enslaved and dependant to understand the concept of an alternative. Just avoid discussing it unless they ask, respond as calmly and positively as you can, and try to lead by example. When civilization collapses as it’s doomed to shortly, be the kind of person they’ll feel comfortable turning to. As for friends, I have none, and as for mates, I’m lucky enough to have my perfect balance, a strong, intelligent, handsome archer with the calmness and patience to cool my fire. Just love the people you have despite their flaws, stop seeking a mate, and your one will find you. :3 I promise.

#7

My marriage broke up a number of years ago, I live alone since then. We were separate for a few years at the end, when for awhile we discussed reconciling. It didn’t work basically with her ruining all my trust, with me seeing she wouldn’t be faithful, along with many issues, but in the period when we were discussing the reconciling, I spoke of this call to depart from civilization, that the trust was violated may have had that contribute to it.

I pursue finding ways to be independent from civilization more now. If it works out to be with another woman again along with this or not, this pursuit is important to continue anyway. Yet there may be more possibility to finding one like-minded in this in the near future, when it is clear to many more people that we need to flee civilization and soon, as it becomes clearly unstable.

#8

If we wish to consider the family as the smallest sane unit of a society* (i.e. family/clan/village comes first, as opposed to the more typically modern idea that the individual-comes-first), this precise issue seems to be one of the biggest challenges of rewilding.

My partner is supportive of my interest in rewilding, but is not personally invested in it. So I feel like I am always having to balance the needs of my family against the needs of my rewilding community. As difficult as this often seems, (and as envious as I often feel of folks whose families are units of a rewilding community), I am still incredibly grateful for the support I do have from my partner.

*Willem, I know you speak of this, and I have also seen it discussed as an absolutely essential element of pre-Christian European culture.

#9

Certainly seems that way at times… for me having a partner who understands at least the basic philosophical implications of rewilding is a must. Having been in a relationship with someone who doesn’t feel the same way it was almost worse than being single, but on the other hand…having a partner is almost a human need so this may overrule any desire to have someone who understands. Tough question for sure and as others have said definitely a challenge to building real communities of rewilding.

#10

“System” never responded so I’m less inclined to ask questions but from the perspective of a young woman whose had men (really consistently) lie about their interest in being outside just to date her :unicorn: I have also struggled with the acceptance of just being alone.

I agree with so much of whats on this page but I also know what I want & not knowing where to find like minded people is a problem.

Festivals are a great way for many alternative lifestyles to meet up and make relationships (even romantic ones) but when there are lots of little festivals or workshops retreats, it starts to add up not just with money to travel there, food, the actual cost of attendance and whatever comes up, but also in time that hopefully you can take away from the job that keeps your lights on (if your a healthy single with no other obligations).

Alt dating sites have more of a neiche / small user base issue, alot of people there are sure of themselves and what they want which is great but what about the open minded people who would love this if they only knew more about it.

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#11

I’ve been struggling with this, too. Having a kid adds another level.

#12

System, thanks for showing me I’m not alone in this concept! I have no rewilding friends or contacts except for people I speak to on the Internet. I hope to attend the Portland conference next year to change that.

I almost never talk about these ideas from my friends, even when I was a teenager trying to just live a normal teenage life.

Million years of hunting and gathering is irrelevant in the context of the average human lifespan that can vary from around 70-100 years. No one in the timescale of an individual life alive today was around 10,000 years ago. Those timeframes are based on what’s a short time “historically,” but concepts of short time are different in the timeframe of individual lives. No person alive today was alive 10,000 years ago–so despite those timeline differences, they mean nothing in the context of most people alive today in civilization.

Like you, system, I have found the same difficulty, and I’m not even entirely sure what to believe at this point.

Either way, I’m going to be at a convention until Monday. I look forward to the responses I hope to receive when my convention ends.

#13

Dude’s suggestions sound good to me. I met various cool folks at different wilderness skills schools, and my husband found me at a gathering where I took part in the organizing team. (So in hindsight perhaps it worked as a dating site too). Since then, more people have coupled up at these gatherings, not just relationshipwise but also businesswise.

Basically, do what you love to do and let it show. That way people see the you that enjoys himself most, and that’s the you that attracts others the strongest.

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#14

+system

Nov '14 Does that mean 2014? This does not bode well, in my mind, as to who is actually on this site. And you seem to list as a ‘system’ as in a moderator. Why do I also get the sense you have lapsed in this role as well?

In any event, to your comment, and for anyone else who might actually read this (I’m on twitter, by the way, I am roo3story. Any twitter users?) I continue to not understand why people speak of company in terms of gender. Are you planning to impregnate this woman? Is that your plan? So why pressure a relationship, from the start with the idea of gender?

What is wrong with simply seeking out similarly minded individuals?

I’ll leave it at this, as I dunno, I don’t sense anyone is ON this website. And if they are, they are mostly just website platform hopping to promote their latest blog post elsewhere. grin

I don’t see rewilding as the latest form of extreme sport nor a depressed or apocalytic survivalist mindset. But from the youtube vids I’ve glanced at, I am getting this 'Sunday painter" on this subject feel here.

Have fun.

Heather
roo3story

#15

Dear roo3story (Heather),

Welcome to the rewild.com forum. I’d like to respond to your comment in three parts:

First, this forum goes back over a decade, so you will see conversations that have been started and added to over a long period of time.

Second, “system” simply indicates that the “system” has carried forward a post from a person who no longer has that user name. It could be that they left the forum, or that they simply changed to a different user name.

Third, Your comments seem pretty critical and hostile in nature, and were posted only hours after your membership was approved. That may not have been your intent, but I would like to encourage you to take a different approach to interacting with this community. A great way to start would be to post your personal introduction, and spend time reading through the various categories and sub-topics to get a feel for the community, the content, and the ways that we interact (and do not interact) with one another here. There are three primary communication guidelines which are extremely helpful in fostering meaningful and respectful conversation in this space. 1.) Tell your own story. 2.) Ask clarifying questions. 3.) Listen and Interpret Generously.

Thank you.

#17

Individualist rewilding is a myth, an illusion of the ego. One cannot rewild oneself. The most one could hope for is a feral self-sufficient existence away from the rest of humanity. But without community? That is inhuman – it is in our nature as humans to live and work within community or tribe. Rewilding can only take place on the family and community level. Just like if only one lone wolf had been released into Yellowstone. Rewilding? Ha! Only a population of wolves living on the land can fulfill that vital ecosystem role and function.

But we’re in a tricky place, because if we stay around where the people are and remain a member of society, in our cities and towns, we’re subject to the forces of human co-domestication and an unconscionable lifeway that reaps destruction and death wherever it goes. External reality becomes internal reality, and vice versa. Our spirit is a mirror to the world. We need to decide to rewild together as a community. Find the people who are serious, and go live together in a wild place somewhere.

Start by planting back wild, perennial foods for human habitat. That’s something even a lone wolf can do. I’ve ceased to refer to rewilding in the context of myself anymore. I only talk about rewilding in the context of the plants I’m stewarding and creating new populations of. I like the conservation use of the word rewilding better than the human sense, because I’ve simply never actually seen real human communities rewilding. Or at least, not sticking together and staying out there, anyhow. But with plants, we can accomplish this. When new, self-replicating populations of wild beings have been (re)introduced to the world, that’s real rewilding. When we’ve rewilded our landscape to make room for an abundance of human habitat, my hope is that the leap into genuine human rewilding will be more ergonomic and practical. Living within a seven generations mindset – maybe we aren’t ready to rewild yet, but if we do the groundwork now, maybe future generations might have something left of the earth to inherit.

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