When your Grandma (if you luckily had one like this) said, â€œFamily comes first - family matters most,â€ you may not have known the profound human survival wisdom embedded in that statement. When she, or any other relative or friend, pestered you to attend that party, or that event, that you passed up because it seemed such a waste of time, now you know you (and your children, and your family) have paid for that in the wages of depression, exhaustion, isolation, disconnectedness.
You know, my Grandmother still says that to this day. And my Dad use to say it, too. But not to me anymore.
I agree with what you’re trying to get across with this statement, but on the other hand families can be pretty messed up (Of course, I know you realize this). And I’m just speaking from my experience here. At the age of 17 I moved in with my Grandparents and lived with them for close to six years. And alongside us lived my uncle and his family, too. We all lived on a farm that was set on 40 acres in the sand country of Northwest Wisconsin.
I’m 33 years old as I type this. And to this day I don’t know if I made the right choice back when I was 17 or not. I was a young man seeking some kind of security in a really messed up world. I thought I could find it in family, well, I was wrong. Anyway, I became SO depressed during that period of living with my Grandparents that I don’t know if I can find the words to illustrate how bad I felt. To this day I search for some kind of explanation as to why I felt the way I did at that young of age.
I just thought I would share this to kind of illustrate that I was in what would be considered by some here an ideal situation, but it was kind of a nightmare in alot of ways. Like I said before, I don’t know what kind spin to put on it yet.
Perhaps someday I will sit down and write about this experience, I don’t know. But I thought I’d throw that little bit of information out into the mix here. I’m not looking to disagree or debate about Willem’s Dunbar post. I’m just mostly processing my thoughts here.
I had a big falling out with my family, and as it stands today I haven’t been to an extended family gathering in over six years. I have missed weddings, anniversaries, etc. The only type of family gathering I do attend is only with my parents and sister’s family. Most of my extended family on my mother’s side lives within 4 miles of me and I rarely ever talk to them. It’s really messed up.