I also think one can confuse sex and roles; My Mother Earth, to me, means a land that mothers those who live upon here. (human and other-than). It doesnât refer to the Planet or Biosphere, it refers to my landbase, the soil and life from which I sprung from, having received seeded energy from the Sun, which I often have a Fathering relationship with. But obviously the Sun does not have a penis, nor does the Earth have a vagina anywhere that Iâve found.
When I experience a personal relationship of support with the land, I experience it in the only grounded way I can, as a social human being. To not experience it as a human, would compel me to fly into abstractions into my mind, ironically. I donât abstract the Land when I call her my Mother - I do the opposite, I resist abstraction with the land, and stay grounded in my humanity. As an ant, or a dandelion, or a star, I imagine I might articulate relationships differently. But I donât need to worry about that - I only concern myself with my own relationships.
Of course the English language beggars belief in its ability to confound and insult those hungry for sustainable and real relationships with anything. Can I say âHeâ without referring to the exclusively male sex? Can I say âSheâ without referring to the female sex? What about other sexes, anyway? I donât even have words for them. Whatever someoneâs sex, can I call them my Mother, or Father? Do I then call them She, or He?
For myself, the niggling issues of static labels handed out at birth, and static roles determined by gender, I keep as far away as I can from my animist connections to other-than-human persons. I donât have a solution currently. In American Sign Language, fortunately, I donât have to worry about he, she, or it - ASL uses the same symbol for all of it, thus neatly solving the problem.
In animist cultures, they often believe that the more shapes one can take, the more powerful the person. This for me explains the profound respect for âtwo-spiritedâ (genderqueer) members of indigenous cultures, who could relate in mothering, fathering, sistering, brothering, in all kinds of ways. No single way of relating defines anyone, anymore than the knife in a swiss army knife defines it as a knife; it also has a corkscrew, a file, scissors, etc. The more ways you can relate, the greater your power to support the life of your land and family.
I think the English language, and the modern culture that goes with it, makes it extremely difficult to talk about these things.
For me, Mothering does not mean âgiving birthâ, and does not require the equipment to do so. Fathering also does not mean âinseminatingâ and does not require the equipment to do so.
Mothering means providing that particular kind of nurturing that Mothers feel compelled to do, and Fathering means providing that particular kind of savvy, edgy push and direction that Fathers feel compelled to do. Both roles imply a loving and compassionate relationship.