Penny-
Too funny. Except I mean to say, highly unfunny. And this brings up the whole Elder vs. Mentor thing for me.
A looooooooooong time ago (well, maybe not THAT long ago), I had to learn first hand the difference between highly skilled crafts-people, and ‘elders’. In our culture, we tend to blur the two, for whatever reason. We call them “Gurus”. We can’t separate the highly skilled shaman from the wise elder. We think spiritual skills make you wise, when in fact they merely expand your capacity to do damage. Many real elders could give a fig about astral projection or whatever.
An Elder supports you and nourishes you, hands down. Sometimes their medicine hurts a little, but you quickly realize the benefits of it.
Childish but highly skilled mentors, a VERY COMMON animal, play a whole 'nother role. Essentially, if I want to learn from them, I figure out whether I can deal with their behavior. But I never mistake it for anything but childishness. I know their childishness stems partly from a lack of social skills, partly from the lunacy of the mad scientist (doing important work the sane would never attempt), partly from the rich inner worlds they’ve had to craft for themselves to master their skillset. But I never confuse it with a capacity to see me, a human being, in front of them, and the gifts I have to offer, and the things that I need to receive.
Elders do that. You identify them by noticing when someone does that for you.
I’d always rather learn a skill in the context of a loving relationship, so I’ll choose Elders everytime, over “gurus”. Some people take the risk of learning from the guru because they see the skillset as rare and worth the grief. As long as they give themselves informed consent, I support the risk, though I no longer take it myself. I’ve wasted enough time that way.
I’ve heard other things about Susun Weed in this direction, myself. I’ve also heard people challenged by their relationship with Tom Brown, and many other mentors who I highly respect. I approach all “teachers”, “gurus”, “mentors”, and “would-be elders” with great caution, and I respond to how they choose to relate to me. I confess I watch them like a hawk, not judgementally (or critically), but to better learn from them, and learn if I can learn from them at all.
Currently, I like my drama in small boring doses. This may change, but I remain dubious.
For this reason, we all need to help each other out, remind each other, of the dangers of choosing such a relationship. But if you choose it, you choose it.
