Stuck between two worlds,help?

i emailed derrick jensen to ask him for some advice,i want some perspective from fellow rewilders,what do you think?

is this derrick,if so i have some questions for you,first off let me start off by saying that your book has changed my life in a positive way,ok well for for you to understand my question,i like you have a civilization caused disease,Im confined to an electric wheelchair because I have muscular dystrophy, at night i use a ventilator with a nose mask giving me the air i need at night so i can be energized throughout the day,without this breathing tool i wouldnt be able to live more than a few weeks. but then i understand how the health of the natural world is kind of like me,it struggles everyday slowly getting weaker but but this disease is called civilization.so i guess what im wondering is how do i sort this out,Ive started a community garden,i think conciously with myself and all other living beings,but i feel stuck between two worlds,the natural world and industrial world,like tug of war but im in the middle,i know ur not a prophet or an idol but youve woken me up,what is your advice on how to cope with this?
--peae & anarchy