E-Primitive Sand Box


#41
Seriously, keep the fucking ball rolling folks. If you have something to add, please at least take up the challenge first!

Well, the thread does bear the word “sandbox” in its title which implies a lot of playing around. Maybe the sandbox and the challenge should sit in different threads?


#42

Maybe you should sit in a different thread. Oooooooh snap! :wink:


#43

Oh, yeah? Well… go thread yourself. :-*


#44
Don't Worry, Feel Happy Lyrics

Don’t Worry, Feel Happy
From the Movie “Cocktails”
Performed by Bobby McFerrin

Enjoy this little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don’t worry feel happy
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don’t worry, feel happy…

Have got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don’t worry, feel happy
The land lord say you haven’t paid
He may have to litigate
Don’t worry, feel happy
Look at me I feel happy
Don’t worry, feel happy
Here I give you my phone number
When you worry call me
I make you happy
Don’t worry, feel happy
Have got no cash, have got no style
Have got not girl to make you smile
But don’t worry feel happy
Cause when you worry
Your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So don’t worry, feel happy (now)…

Did you like this little song I wrote?
I hope you learn it note for note
Like good little children
Don’t worry, feel happy
Listen to what I say
In your life expect some trouble
But when you worry
You make it double
Don’t worry, feel happy…
Don’t worry don’t do it, feel happy
Put a smile on your face
Don’t bring everybody down like this
Don’t worry, it will soon past
Whatever happens
Don’t worry, feel happy

Did I miss any? Can you say "ain’t’ in e-prime? I felt unsure, so I changed it anyway.

For a long time they looked at the river beneath them, saying nothing, and the river said nothing too, for it felt very quiet and peaceful on this summer afternoon.

“Tigger is all right really,” said Piglet lazily.

“Of course he is,” said Christopher Robin.

“Everybody is really,” said Pooh. “That’s what I think,” said Pooh. “but I don’t suppose I’m right,” he said.

“Of course you are,” said Christopher Robin.


#45
For a long time they looked at the river beneath them, saying nothing, and the river said nothing too, for it felt very quiet and peaceful on this summer afternoon.

“Tigger feels all right really,” said Piglet lazily.

“Of course he does,” said Christopher Robin.

“Everybody feels all right,” said Pooh. “I think so at least,” said Pooh. “but I don’t suppose I know everything.” he said.

“Maybe you do.” said Christopher Robin.

Gosh! Dialog stretches my e-prime boundaries much more than expository or poetic writing.

Let’s see what someone else does:

PADME: Anakin, this baby will change our lives. I doubt the Queen will continue to allow me to serve in the Senate, and if the Council discovers you are the father, you will be expelled from the Jedi Order.

ANAKIN: I know ….

PADME: Anakin, do you think Obi-Wan might be able to help us?

ANAKIN: (suspicious) Have you told him anything?

PADME: No, but he’s your mentor, your best friend . . . he must suspect something.

ANAKIN: He’s been a father to me, but he’s still on the Council. Don’t tell him anything!

PADME: I won’t, Anakin.

ANAKIN: I don’t need his help . . . Our baby is a blessing, not a problem.


#46

All right, I know I should keep my mouth shut and give someone else a chance, but I came up with this anyway.

PADME: Anakin, this baby will change our lives. I doubt the Queen will continue to allow me to serve in the Senate, and if the Council discovers you fathered him, they will expel you from the Jedi Order.

ANAKIN: I know ….

PADME: Anakin, do you think Obi-Wan might decide to help us?

ANAKIN: (suspicious) Have you told him anything?

PADME: No, but he mentors you; you’ve given him your very close friendship . . . he must suspect something.

ANAKIN: He’s acted like a father to me, but he still serves on the Council. Don’t tell him anything!

PADME: I won’t, Anakin.

ANAKIN: I don’t need his help . . . Our baby blesses us, not creates problems.

Saul sent men to David's house to watch it and kill him in the morning. But Michal, David's wife, warned him, "If you don't run for your life tonight, tomorrow you'll be killed." So Michal let David down through a window, and he fled and escaped. Than Michal took an idol and laid it on the bed covering it with a garment and putting some goat's hair at the head.

When Saul sent the men to capture David, Michal said, “He is ill.”

Then Saul sent the men back to see David and told them, “Bring him to me in his bed so that I may kill him.” But when the men entered, there was the idol in the bed, and at the head was some goat’s hair.


#47
Saul sent men to David's house to watch it and kill him in the morning. But Michal, David's wife, warned him, "If you don't run for your life tonight, you won't wake up tomorrow." So Michal let David down through a window, and he fled and escaped. Than Michal took an idol and laid it on the bed covering it with a garment and putting some goat's hair at the head.

When Saul sent the men to capture David, Michal said, “He feels ill.”

Then Saul sent the men back to see David and told them, “Bring him to me in his bed so that I may kill him.” But when the men entered, there laid the idol in the bed, and at the head laid some goat’s hair.

KATE Whoever wrote this needs somebody to take the fall. And that's Phreak, and that's Joey, and that's us. We've got to get the rest of the file, so we can find out where the money is going before the worm disappears, so we can find out WHO created it.
                            DADE
                I know, I know who wrote it.

                            KATE
                What?

                            DADE
                This Ellingson security creep. I gave him a
                copy of the disc you gave me.

                            KATE
                You what?

                            DADE
                I didn't know what was on it.

                            CEREAL
                            (agitated)
                Oh man. That's universally stupid, man!

                            NIKON
                Yo, man, you an amateur, man.

                            KATE
                Why did he come to you?

                            DADE
                I got a record. I was Zero Cool.

                            NIKON
                Zero Cool? Crashed fifteen hundred and seven
                systems in one day?

    Nikon closes his eyes and access his photographic memory.

                            NIKON
                Biggest crash in history, front page, New
                York Times, August 10th, 1988. I thought
                you was black, man! Yo, man, this is Zero
                Cool! Oh, shit!

                            CEREAL
                That's far out!

                            NIKON
                This is Zero Cool, man! Whooo, haha!

                            KATE
                            (coldly)
                Well that's great. There goes MIT.</blockquote>

#48

Why won’t anyone play with me? Fine. I’ll play with myself.

KATE Whoever wrote this needs somebody to take the fall... Meaning Phreak, Joey, and the rest of us. We've got to get the rest of the file, so we can find out what happened to the money before the worm disappears, so we can find out WHO created it.
                            DADE
                I know, I know who wrote it.

                            KATE
                What?

                            DADE
                This Ellingson security creep. I gave him a
                copy of the disc you gave me.

                            KATE
                You what?

                            DADE
                I didn't know what it had on it.

                            CEREAL
                            (agitated)
                Oh man. How universally stupid, man!?

                            NIKON
                Yo, man, what an amateur, man.

                            KATE
                Why did he come to you?

                            DADE
                I got a record. I used to go by Zero Cool.

                            NIKON
                Zero Cool? Crashed fifteen hundred and seven
                systems in one day?

    Nikon closes his eyes and access his photographic memory.

                            NIKON
                Biggest crash in history, front page, New
                York Times, August 10th, 1988. I thought
                you had black skin, man! Yo, man, we got Zero
                Cool here?! Oh, shit!

                            CEREAL
                Far out!

                            NIKON
               We got Zero Cool here, man! Whooo, haha!

                            KATE
                            (coldly)
                Great. There goes MIT.</blockquote>
MULDER: "No?" What do you mean, "no?"

SCULLY: I mean, this has reached the point of absurdity, Mulder. We’re out here on half a hunch off of a cryptic phone call chasing down a, a clue that’s based on nothing but speculation.

MULDER: Well, that’s all we’ve got.

SCULLY: That’s all he’s given us. Who is this Deep Throat character? I mean, we don’t know anything about him. What his name is, what he does…

MULDER: He’s in a delicate position. He has access to information and indiscretion could expose him.

SCULLY: You don’t know that this isn’t just a game with him. He’s toying with you. Rationing out the facts.

MULDER: You think he does it because he gets off on it?

SCULLY: No. I think he does it because you do.


#49
Why won't anyone play with me? Fine. I'll play with myself.

Hmm. I bet Peter has said that phrase before. :slight_smile:


#50

wow, i really struggled with this one…

i agree, dialogue takes more effort to weed out all the ‘to be’ instances…

MULDER: "No?" What do you mean, "no?"

SCULLY: I mean, this has reached the point of absurdity, Mulder.
We came out here on half a hunch off of a cryptic phone call chasing
down a, a clue based on nothing but speculation.

MULDER: Well, we don’t have anything else.

SCULLY: He’s only given us that. What do we know about this Deep
Throat character? I mean, we don’t know anything about him. His
name, what he does…

MULDER: He has to maintain a delicate position. He has access to
information and indiscretion could expose him.

SCULLY: You don’t know what motivates him. He
toys with you. Rations out the facts.

MULDER: You think he does it because he gets off on it?

SCULLY: No. I think he does it because you do.

(dark room. Xander kneels, arms secured behind his back.)

SNYDER: Where are you from, Harris?

XANDER: Well, the basement, mostly.

SNYDER: Were you born there?

XANDER: Possibly.

SNYDER: I walked by your guidance counselor’s office one time. A bunch of you were sitting there … waiting to be shepherded.

SNYDER: I remember it smelled like dead flowers. Like decay. Then it hit me. The hope of our nation’s future is a bunch of mulch.

XANDER: You know, I never got the chance to tell you how glad I was you were eaten by a snake.

SNYDER: Where are you heading?

XANDER: (shrugs uncertainly) Well, I’m supposed to meet Tara and Willow.

XANDER: And possibly Buffy’s mom.

SNYDER: Your time is running out.

XANDER: No, I’m just trying to get away. There’s … something I can’t fight.

SNYDER: Are you a soldier?

XANDER: (shakes head) I’m a comfortador.

SNYDER: (contemptuous) You’re neither. You’re a whipping boy. Raised by mongrels and set on a sacrificial stone.

XANDER: (nods) I’m getting a cramp.


#51

Optimus E-Prime engaged. To wit:

MULDER: "No?" What do you mean, "no?"

SCULLY: I mean, this has reached the point of absurdity, Mulder. We’ve come out here on half a hunch off of a cryptic phone call chasing down a, a clue that’s based on nothing but speculation.

MULDER: Well, we’ve got nothing more than that to work with.

SCULLY: Because he hasn’t given us anything else. Who hides behind this Deep Throat character? I mean, we don’t know anything about him. What his parents named him [what tax name the government knows him by][His ‘real’ identity], what he does…

MULDER: He stands in a delicate position. He has access to information and indiscretion could expose him.

SCULLY: You don’t know that he doesn’t just want to play games. He’s toying with you. Rationing out the facts.

MULDER: You think he does it because he gets off on it?

SCULLY: No. I think he does it because you do.


#52

[quote=“Willem, post:51, topic:255”][quote=X-files]
SCULLY: You don’t know that he doesn’t just want to play games. He’s toying with you. Rationing out the facts.
[/quote][/quote]

check the bold


#53

[quote=“jhereg, post:50, topic:255”]wow, i really struggled with this one…

i agree, dialogue takes more effort to weed out all the ‘to be’ instances…[/quote]

Hah! Simultaneous e-priming post. Alright, I’ll try buffy then, since you beat me to x-files.

(dark room. Xander kneels, arms secured behind his back.)

SNYDER: Where do you come from, Harris?

XANDER: Well, the basement, mostly.

SNYDER: Did your mother give birth to you there? [Did your birth happen there?]

XANDER: Possibly.

SNYDER: I walked by your guidance counselor’s office one time, and saw a bunch of you sitting there … waiting for someone to shepherd you.

SNYDER: I remember it smelled like dead flowers. Like decay. Then it hit me. The hope of our nation’s future lies in a bunch of mulch.

XANDER: You know, I never got the chance to tell you how it happy I felt when the snake ate you.

SNYDER: Where do you head now? [Where do you plan to go now?]

XANDER: (shrugs uncertainly) Well, I’ve committed to meet Tara and Willow.

XANDER: And possibly Buffy’s mom.

SNYDER: Your time grows short.

XANDER: No, I just want to get away. I’ve found something…I can’t fight.

SNYDER: Do you call yourself a soldier? [Do you want serve as a soldier?]

XANDER: (shakes head) A comfortador. [‘Comfortador’ fits me better.]

SNYDER: (contemptuous) Neither suits you. You serve as the whipping boy. Raised by mongrels and set on a sacrificial stone.

XANDER: (nods) I feel a cramp coming on.

This dialogue brings up some interesting issues. How do we relate to roles? When e-priming, do we simply adapt to the rules and dance around the role, or do we e-primitive, and annihilate roles?

A soldier does not exist in an e-primitive world. You will never find one. In fact ‘soldier’ probably epitomizes the purpose of the professional label, one of the first pigeonholes created by ‘to be’ language and civilization. One can ‘soldier on’, ‘soldier forward’, do ‘soldiering’, but that would hardly fit Snyder’s question. Snyder wants to trap Xander by asking whether he ‘measures-up in manliness’ to the role of soldier, an absurd notion, but a lethal and subtle trap, for how else does civilization get us out of our own center into its machinations, than by badgering us as to whether or not we fit a role that we assume means something good, worthy, successful.

Xander answers by saying ‘comfortador’, another serving class of person, a nanny, another way of abandoning his humanity. He has fallen into Snyder’s trap: by acknowledging the implication that he doesn’t have the ‘manliness’ to fit the role of soldier, he makes up the eunuch title of ‘comfortador’, as if entrusted to guard the king’s harem, or nanny his children. By consenting to talking about which constricting and inhumane label fits him, Xander has consented to allowing Snyder to define and judge his value as a human being.

Gross.


#54

[quote=“jhereg, post:52, topic:255”][quote author=Willem link=topic=260.msg4956#msg4956 date=1191861950]

[/quote]

check the bold[/quote]

Zing! You got me. Correction: ‘he toys with you, rationing out the facts.’ Can I plea that the dialogue bored me and I lost focus? I like buffy better, as it raises interesting issues.


#55

ha, yeah, i can see that. x-file snippet struck me as a particularly good example of how we approach critical thought, see Scully’s lines:

SCULLY: That's all he's given us. Who is this Deep Throat character? I mean, we don't know anything about him. What his name is, what he does...

and

SCULLY: You don't know that this isn't just a game with him. He's toying with you. Rationing out the facts.

“to be”, what “is” and what “isn’t” forms the starting point for her critical thinking. it surprised me to see what changing the focus to “verbyness” did to make the dialogue more interesting.

you bring up some interesting ideas from the buffy snippet, some of which struck me as well when i posted it (specifically, the roles, ie “soldiering”, “comfortadoring” [itself, an interesting derivation, imho])


#56

Nice e-priming on the buffyspeak, Willem.

I just wanted to chime in to comment on the alternative choices you included as well as your discussion on roles.

SNYDER: Did your mother give birth to you there? [Did your birth happen there?]

I like the first one better in terms of how it fits the tone of the scene. The second one probably makes a better literal transition from “were you born there” but bringing Xander’s mother into the picture capitalizes better on Snyder’s snideness.

SNYDER: Where do you head now? [Where do you plan to go now?]

The second one reads more easily. For e-prime, I like it best when it doesn’t draw attention to itself.

SNYDER: Do you call yourself a soldier? [Do you want serve as a soldier?]

The first one reads more easily and again draws the derision into the picture, which fits the scene and Snyder’s character really well.

XANDER: (shakes head) A comfortador. ['Comfortador' fits me better.]

Both work fine, but the second fits Xander’s character better. He doesn’t say it just to indicate his lack of soldiery, he brings his own sense of character to the table, and the second option does that better.

This dialogue brings up some interesting issues. How do we relate to roles? When e-priming, do we simply adapt to the rules and dance around the role, or do we e-primitive, and annihilate roles?

A soldier does not exist in an e-primitive world. You will never find one. In fact ‘soldier’ probably epitomizes the purpose of the professional label, one of the first pigeonholes created by ‘to be’ language and civilization. One can ‘soldier on’, ‘soldier forward’, do ‘soldiering’, but that would hardly fit Snyder’s question. Snyder wants to trap Xander by asking whether he ‘measures-up in manliness’ to the role of soldier, an absurd notion, but a lethal and subtle trap, for how else does civilization get us out of our own center into its machinations, than by badgering us as to whether or not we fit a role that we assume means something good, worthy, successful.

Xander answers by saying ‘comfortador’, another serving class of person, a nanny, another way of abandoning his humanity. He has fallen into Snyder’s trap: by acknowledging the implication that he doesn’t have the ‘manliness’ to fit the role of soldier, he makes up the eunuch title of ‘comfortador’, as if entrusted to guard the king’s harem, or nanny his children. By consenting to talking about which constricting and inhumane label fits him, Xander has consented to allowing Snyder to define and judge his value as a human being.

Gross.

I think, as far as adapting someone else’s words (especially the words of another author’s character) you have to dance around the roles. You did that really well. When we speak for ourselves in e-primitive though, we can hopefully find the freedom to divorce our thoughts from role-based terminologies.

I like, though, how Joss turned the tables a little on Xander’s self-titling. He doesn’t just call himself a comforter, but a comfortador – someone who conquers through comfort. Which actually describes Xander’s character pretty well. He uses comfort as his superpower, the same way that Buffy uses her strength and reflexes and Willow uses magic.

Which brings us to the way in which we normally unravel titles when e-primitivizing: by describing what a person does instead of declaring them “to be” something. Buffy can say “I slay” and Willow can say “I practice magic.” (although she would probably spell it with a “k”.) But what can Xander say? He can say “I comfort” or even “I conquer through comfort” but you lose the joke of the term “comfortador” if you say either of those things.

It makes me think of how when you wrote about actually speaking in e-prime on a daily basis that you have to do without a lot of our common phrases like “how’re you doing?” and “what’s up?”. Just like you can’t translate from one language to another without losing something, you can’t translate from b-english to e-primitive without casting aside the things that made b-english into such a civilized tool.

By the way, jhereg, nice choice of a passage to play with.

[ul][]It had all those title-related issue to tackle.
[
]The scene portrays a very blatant homage to Apocalypse Now.
[*]The episode that the scene comes from “Restless” takes place as the aftermath of Buffy and her gang trying to channel the power of the first slayer (aka The Primitive) in order to defeat the big bad of the season).[/ul]


#57

[quote=“Urban Scout, post:48, topic:255”]MULDER: “No?” What do you mean, “no?”

SCULLY: I mean, this has reached the point of absurdity, Mulder. We’re out here on half a hunch off of a cryptic phone call chasing down a, a clue that’s based on nothing but speculation.

MULDER: Well, that’s all we’ve got.

SCULLY: That’s all he’s given us. Who is this Deep Throat character? I mean, we don’t know anything about him. What his name is, what he does…

MULDER: He’s in a delicate position. He has access to information and indiscretion could expose him.

SCULLY: You don’t know that this isn’t just a game with him. He’s toying with you. Rationing out the facts.

MULDER: You think he does it because he gets off on it?

SCULLY: No. I think he does it because you do.[/quote]

MULDER: “No?” What do you mean, “no?”

SCULLY: I mean, this has reached the point of absurdity, Mulder. A half of a hunch off of a cryptic phone call got us here chasing down this, this clue based on nothing but speculation!

MULDER: uh huh, well, we only have that.

SCULLY: He has only given us that. Tell me about this deep throat character? I mean, we don’t know anything about him…what name he goes by, what he does…

MULDER: He has himself in a delicate position. He has access to information and indiscretion could expose him.

SCULLY: You don’t know!!! He could think of this as a game. Toying with you. Rationing out the facts. Fucking with your head.

MULDER: You think he does it to get off on it?

SCULLY: Hmmm… I think he does it 'cause you do.


Thanks for playing with yourself, Scout! It inspired me!

[quote author=jhereg link=topic=260.msg4955#msg4955 date=1191861836]

SCULLY: [b]He's [/b] only given us that. What do we know about this Deep Throat character? I mean, we don't know anything about him. His name, what he does...

jhereg, sorry to tell you man, look at the the bold, see!? Unfortunately, you missed one too!

MOD: Oops! Nevermind! Jhereg, you didn’t miss a thing. I thought you meant “he is” there, i misread the “he’s” as “he is” instead of what you meant “he has.” A case of late night contraction brain fart…


#58

ooh! i like your version way better than mine, eric.


#59

s’ariiight :slight_smile:

i 2nd that, best of the 3, imo


#60

My Scully would never use such barbaric language!

:slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: